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QUADRAGINTA TRES

SEOKJIN : [ looks at the handcuffs around his wrist ] are you... is this... is this jimin's?

JEONGGUK : [ shrugs nonchalantly, a smug smile playing at his lips ] sure thing.

SEOKJIN : [ grabs the handcuff, his face contorting into a small sob ] oh god, oh god, oh god, what did you do to him?

JEONGGUK : maybe i'll tell you if you're willing to listen to my story.

SEOKJIN : [ struggles against his restraints ] okay, okay—talk—talk all you want. i'll listen. i—i'm here anyways. just... just don't hurt him.

JEONGGUK : [ smiles ] excellent! so, years back, when i was a kid, i was raised in a big foster care home. well, not really. 'raised' would be an overstatement. they only took us in for the check, after all. [ smiles, but it fades when SEOKJIN appears to be not surprised ] but i'm pretty sure you know that about me. you had your little police officer run some background check on me, didn't you?

SEOKJIN : i... [ sighs ] yes.

JEONGGUK : [ narrows eyes in slight amusement ] so. how much more do you know?

SEOKJIN : uh... [ his head is spinning, and he feels slightly disoriented by the sudden pressure ] a kid. a kid died. in a fire, i think. god, why don't you just ask him?! i'm sure he knows more than i do. so much more.

JEONGGUK : because i'm not interested in him, seokjin. [ shakes his head ] i don't care about him. so, one wrong move, and— [ swipes his thumb across his neck ] he's gone.

SEOKJIN : okay... if... if it means he'll be alive, then i'll listen. i—i won't try anything. [ glances up at JEONGGUK ] because i know you can outsmart me in anything i do.

JEONGGUK : [ snorts, clearly unfazed ] are you sizing me up, seokjin? it won't work.

SEOKJIN : [ swallows nervously ] okay, i... i won't try anything. i swear.

JEONGGUK : [ clears his throat ] ahem! okay. so, where was i? ah. jeongguk. jeongguk was a little kid. i don't remember how old, he looked around five or six, but i know he was little—he was way younger than me. i was fifteen. [ chuckles ] it's kind of weird to be speaking about him in third person, since i've technically been jeongguk for years on end... anyways, i'm going off tangent. anyways, do you know what they did to us? [ looks up at SEOKJIN, meeting his frightened eyes. he sighs when SEOKJIN has no response ] hmm? 

SEOKJIN : n-no. i don't.

JEONGGUK : [ picks at his nails ] huh. it's so weird to bring up such an old memory back again. they—i don't even want to call them 'parents'—would lock the fridge, lock all the doors, keep us all up in the attic, and if we were good—we could sleep in beds in the guest room. i guess we were hardly ever good. the seven of us—me, jeongguk, two other boys and three girls—tried really hard to be there for each other. we—ourselves—were all we had. our foster home parents couldn't be trusted. they would... [ frowns, the crease between his eyebrows deepening ] they would try to drown us in baths. they would... they would touch us. they would lock us in our rooms. they would feed us dog food sometimes. they would... [ stops abruptly ] i'm just going to stop there.

SEOKJIN : [ quietly ] i'm sorry.

JEONGGUK : [ looks over at SEOKJIN, wordlessly staring at him before snapping out of his stance ] nothing to be sorry about. anyways, all of us had each others' backs. we would all huddle together under one small blanket during the winter, because they would never turn on the heater. [ laughs emptily and quietly with slight nostalgia ] it made it survivable in there. but when—when one of the girls suddenly died—i believe her name was soobin; she was fourteen at the time—we immediately suspected them. she had gotten in trouble the night before, because she tried to escape through a window. the bolts had gotten loose and she said she was going to go get help. anyways, the next day, they said she died from a hit-and-run accident. we knew it wasn't true—we were never allowed to go outside. i knew it was only a matter of time.

SEOKJIN : [ slowly ] what did you do?

JEONGGUK : we planned to burn the fucking house down, that's what. it was easier than we thought. the only time we were unsupervised was when we were in the attic. they forgot to bolt down the window that soobin went through. they meant to do it, but not that day. we tied our sheets and some dirty clothes together, and it was strong and long enough to get us down outside. we couldn't escape out the front door, because it had several locks and i couldn't find all the keys. we used the next best thing. their room was on the second floor, so it was easy. i sneaked down to the kitchen, and lit a cigarette that i stole from 'his' pouch. i threw it on the couch in the living room upstairs, and hell, it spread like wildfire.

SEOKJIN : so you're a personality that broke off in jeongguk when... uh, when you died?

JEONGGUK : [ exhales sharply, furrowing his brows out of either annoyance or pain ] shut up. shut up. let me finish my story. stop interrupting me.

SEOKJIN : [ swallows nervously ] why did you remain dormant before all this? i swear—something changed. i know the old jeongguk.

JEONGGUK : [ laughs ] do you really? anyways, as i was saying—i had turned off the smoke alarms the night before, when they were out getting groceries. i checked the attic quickly to make sure every one of them left. they didn't know that i was staying behind; in hindsight, maybe i should've told them. but nobody wants to adopt a fifteen year old boy. it was the end for me. i was the strongest, too—i stayed and kept the door shut. i didn't know i was that strong, though—i didn't eat much. i couldn't. [ wistfully smiles ] anyways, that's the end. i couldn't even feel the flames lick at my skin. all i could feel was the constant banging on the door from the other side.

SEOKJIN : [ stares at JEONGGUK momentarily before letting out a sigh ] wow, uh... i'm really sorry for all that you've been through.

JEONGGUK : don't be. it's hard not to live in the past, though. jeongguk got the brunt of it. he was a pretty kid, and you know, it's not hard to tell who won't grow up to be handsome and who will. he was the latter. unfortunately, he... he took the majority of the abuse. sexually and physically. 'she' liked to take him in her room, and just... [ shakes his head ] i can't continue.

SEOKJIN : [ begins slowly ] so are you saying this... this traumatic event turned jeongguk into a murderer?

JEONGGUK : no! [ bangs his fist on the bedside table, nearly knocking over SEOKJIN'S tea, before scrunching up his nose; his face contorted in pain before he regained composure ] i mean, yes, he's a god-awful murderer. but i can't turn him in yet. not yet.

SEOKJIN : w-what do you mean?

JEONGGUK : because i'm not done, seokjin. [ smiles, pulling out a knife from behind ]

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wow guys when did this reach 8K+ votes? thank you so much and love all of you, always <3 and oops i haven't published 'organ donor' yet lol sorry !!! i like to have about 5-10 chapters written out or so before i publish :') hopefully i have that done before march ! i will probably also publish 'voyage to hell' simultaneously as well :) thank you for understanding <3