roses | kim woosung

t w e n t y - e i g h t

it's been about five months since sammy and i have told the world we've been dating and i honestly feel relieved. i feel free, if that makes sense. as if i don't have a single problem in the world.

"i remember you used to love the snow." sammy says, handing me a mug. "i still do." i say, watching the snow fall from the window.

"we should go back to new york one day." he suggests. "to the apartments? i'd love that." i say, resting my head against his chest.

i browse twitter and notice people are asking sammy and i to get married. at this point in time, i don't think marriage is the best option but it is a thought.

i don't know.. i wanted to get married at like the age 25 or 26 or when i'm not an idol anymore. i just think it's too early for it since we've debuted a year ago. i think we'd need space to breathe a little until the moment comes.

"chaeyeong?" sammy says. "yeah?" i say. "have you ever thought of the future?" sammy asks. "not really. why, did you?" i ask. "a little." he says. "what'd you think about?" i ask.

"i had a dream that you were pregnant and we were still idols. i'm scared it might be true." he says. "but i'm not showing any signs of pregnancy. did i gain weight? is my nose big?" i ask, rushing to the bathroom.

"none of those things have happened but have you been getting sick lately? did you feel any movement in your stomach?" sammy asks. "no, and stop worrying me!" i say. "could you at least go to a doctor? to calm me down?" he asks.

"right now?" i ask. "well better now than four months later when a baby randomly appears in your hands. come on, i'll go with you." sammy says. "i prefer to go alone. you know, to avoid publicity." i say.

"in the meantime, i'll set an appointment." sammy says, grabbing his phone and making a phone call.

i change my clothes by wearing a beige mock sweater with black skinny jeans and beige boots. i grab my black scarf and black beanie and put them on. i then grab my black coat and black mouth mask and grab my phone.

"your appointment is in 20 minutes. go now so you could make it in time." sammy says. "let me grab my wallet." i say, grabbing the wallet. "and please let me know what happens." he says, as we kiss each other goodbye.

i arrive at the doctors office and talk to the doctor there. "you're from beyond 4, aren't you?" he asks. "don't tell people about this, please." i plead. "i won't, you will. when the time comes of course." he says, handing me a box.

"it's a pregnancy test. follow the directions and come back to me. the results might take one to two hours so it's going to have to be a long wait. i hope you don't mind." he says, as i rush to the bathroom and follow the directions.

i walk back to the doctors office and anxiously wait there. the whole thing was just pressuring to me, i mean what if i end up pregnant.

"miss lim. hi, i'm nurse jung and i'm going to ask you some questions." a woman says, entering the room as she closes the door behind her.

"have you had sexual intercourse in the last year?" she asks, as i nod. "when was your last menstrual cycle?" she asks. "about a month ago i believe." i say. "hmm. are you sure?" she asks. "i think so." i say, as she writes it in her notebook and leaves the room.

some time later the doctor comes back and takes me into another room. "we predicted that you just might be pregnant. but, don't freak out. we're going to do a sonogram just to make sure. just lay on the bed over there." the doctor says, as i lay on the bed.

t i m e s k i p

i walk back to the entertainment building and lay on my bed. "where were you? jia asks. "the doctors." i say. "is everything okay?" she asks. "yeah, it was just a check up." i say.