Before I Fade Away~ Daryl Dixon Fanfiction

Chapter 35~ Depressed

  {Daryl's P.O.V}

         After the prison was attacked, I tried so hard to find Sylvie. I watched Corey Moldigan drag her into the woods and by the time I got to the woods both of them were no where to be seen. That bastard took her and who knows what he plans to do. Beth is the one who forced me to keep moving and get Athena to safety. I couldn't exactly argue, I promised Sylvie i'd keep her daughter safe if anything ever happened to her.
   
      I think only a day or two has passed since we left the prison, but it feels like it's been years. We're starving, and cold, and tired. Any food I've found or any game I've hunted has been eaten. Mostly by Athena and Beth. I took the smallest amounts so that they could eat. Beth often gave some of her meal to Athena if the girl ever complained she was hungry. 

      The sun has disappeared into the night and darkness has blanketed the sky. I start a fire for the girls to stay warm, and then sulk alone away from them. Athena just stares blankly into the fire, and Beth looks as though she's thinking.

"We should do something..." She blurts out. I just look at her and say nothing.

"Like what?" Athena wonders.

"We should go look for the others, someone had to have made it." She says, but directing it towards me rather than Athena.

"I said, we should do something." Beth hisses again. I ignore her and look down at my shoes as I hug my knees.

       She scoffs and stands up, she grabs her stuff and then holds her hand out to Athena. The little girl obliges and goes with her, but keeps her eyes locked on me as she walks away. I groan and then stand up and put out the fire. I grab my things and follow behind them. We walk for a while, Beth in the lead with Athena hot on her trail.

"Where are we going?" Athena asks tiredly.

"Dunno. Ask Beth." I growl, glaring daggers into the blonde's back. Beth stops and whips around.

"At least I'm doing something, you were just sitting there brooding." She retorts.

"The kid is tired Beth, ye' can't just drag her along like some rag doll." I shoot back.

"Please stop fighting..." Athena begs. Beth instantly apologizes.

      When morning comes, we stop in the woods and settle in for some rest. We ended up walking all night long, and Athena was just about dead on her feet. Athena laid down while Beth started a small fire. I go out to hunt for breakfast. Walking through the leaves and dirt, I spot something that makes me smile a little. With one foot I step on the neck of the snake, and with my knife I stab it in the head.

     Upon returning to camp, Beth scrunches her nose up at the sight of the snake.

"It's the best I got right now." I tell her. She shrugs and looks at the ground. I skin the snake and start to roast it over the fire. The smell of the snake stirs Athena from her sleep. She rubs her sunken in blue eyes and just stares at the snake.

"I'm not eating that..." She pouts.

"Ye' will if ye' don't wanna starve." I mutter. She glares at me and then hugs her legs.

"I miss mommy... she wouldn't make me eat that." She says sadly.

"Well yer' momma ain't here is she, and if she were she'd tell ye' the same thing I am." I lecture the child. Again she glares, but this time a single tear falls from her eyes. She quickly wipes it away and buries her head against her knees.

"Nice going Daryl." Beth shakes her head.

"Thena'... hey ducky, look I'm sorry okay?" I give in and apologize to her. She slowly looks up and frowns.

"Merle used to call me that... I miss him." Athena reminisces.

"I miss him too..." I sigh. If anyone could help me keep these girls alive it would be Merle. But no, he had to go get himself killed by the Governor.

       As the days go by, Beth becomes more and more emotional. Everything makes her cry, and she keeps blowing up on me when I say something rude. The fighting bothers Athena, but she's stopped telling us to grow up. So far we've made it to a golf course, and when that didn't pan out for very long, Beth starts to insist on getting a drink.

      I don't wanna drink in front of Athena but god knows I could use a damn drink right about now. So with that in mind, I lead the three of us to an old cabin where moonshine was made. We set our things inside and Athena lays down on a blanket in the corner of the room. I let her use my bag as a pillow.

"Daryl?" She says softly after I pull a blanket over her.

"Can you read to me?" She asks. I look around for anything with words on it, and in the other part of the room I find a dirty newspaper.

"It ain't anything that's gonna interest ye', but if ye' want I'll read it anyways." I tell her. She nods quietly so I sit beside her and start to read off the front page of the paper. Although it was pretty boring and most of the words were missing due to stains on it, she still managed to fall asleep. After she did, I carefully push her hair out of her face and just think of her mother. Athena is a spitting image of Sylvie, and god do I miss her. More than anything.

     I grab a bottle of moonshine and pour Beth and myself a drink. She takes a sip and almost instantly cringes at the taste of it. She suggests we play some stupid party game, but I've got nothing better to do. She's pretty funny when she drinks, its honestly like a breath of fresh air having her around. I'll admit, I'm glad I didn't get stuck on my own. These two are forcing me from wallowing in my depression.

         I don't know why, but when I drink I can become an asshole. Beth was just asking an innocent question, and I took it upon myself to turn a complete 180 on the conversation. The sound of a walker alerts us and puts our argument on hold. At this point, Athena has awoken and is just shaking with fright.

"Thena', stay inside." I warn the girl and grab Beth by the arm and force her outside.

       I wrap my arm around Beth's torso and lift my crossbow with the other, I continue to reload and shoot arrows into the walker's chest. Finally, Beth breaks free and has had enough. She marches up to the walker and stabs it in the head. She then gives me some lecture, and brings up everyone else.

"Ye' don't get it! Everyone we know is dead!" I scream at her, the veins in my neck protruding and my face turning red.

"You don't know that!" She argues. I spit out a few more angry words and then the thought of Hershel, and Sylvie, and everyone else just takes over my thoughts.

"And yer' dad..." I find myself breaking down, losing Hershel, and being separated from Sylvie has just destroyed me inside.

     I turn away from Beth, as I don't want her to see me cry. All of a sudden I feel a small figure grab onto me from behind. Beth holds on tightly, not letting me go no matter what.

"Is everyone really dead?" Athena asks, tears welling up in her eyes. I walk over to her and pick her up. She hugs me and places her head on my shoulder.

"I don't know, but they're tough, and yer' mom ain't gonna give up looking for ye'. And we're gonna keep looking for her. I promise ye' I ain't gonna give up." I try to soothe the child. I really fucked up, Athena didn't need to hear that, she's gonna be so screwed up from all the shit she's been put through.

Aren't we all though?