Chapter 47. Reason

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I awoke to the sound of light breathing. A small groan escaped my parched lips as I fought with my arm muscles. It took a great deal of effort, but I managed to sit up on the bed. I turned to the figure lying beside me and smiled. Croy was sleeping peacefully on his stomach. A small flutter seized my heart as I gazed at his face. His features were more pronounced than they had been two years ago.

His face was also scruffy. I could see an afternoon shadow beginning to settle along his jaw line and cheeks. He was a man now. That was probably why I hadn't fully recognized him. He looked quite different, but I should've caught on to his personality sooner. He hadn't changed a bit in that department.

Without thinking, I reached out and gently brushed his bangs away from his eyes. I could feel a pang of guilt roll through me when I noticed the shiner he had acquired while protecting me. I shook my head. That whole speech he had given me about how he was the one always causing trouble, filled my mind. Why couldn't he see that I was the troublemaker? Every single time he'd gotten hurt was because of me. Because he wanted to protect me. Why couldn't he see that?

A small sigh left my lips. I really didn't want to think about that kind of stuff then, so I focused my attention on the bed. It was a Queen, with white sheets and a pale-blue comforter that was hanging half-way off the corner. I glanced around the bedroom to see it was mostly empty. All he had besides a dresser, was a guitar with an amp, that leaned against the closet door.

I took a deep breath and made the effort to get up. My entire body ached. "Guess I'm not used to fighting anymore." I mumbled to myself as I made my way towards the restroom, which was just a few feet away.

"Wow, I look awful." I muttered aloud as I stared at my reflection. I raised my hand instinctively and touched my darkening eye. I flinched, it was still very tender. I opened the faucet a second after and splashed some cool water on my face. I watched the pink water swirl down the drain as it cleansed my busted lip. I sighed exasperatedly after I'd turned off the water.. "Why am I so helpless?" I asked my reflection as water dripped down her scraped chin.

"You're not helpless. " Croy's voice startled me as he stepped in through the door. I glanced back at him as he hugged me from behind. My cheeks turned pink as I stared at our reflection.

"Yeah, right." I scoffed as I averted my gaze and slipped out of his hold. I reached over and dried my face with the towel that hung beside the sink, then brushed past him and made my way back into the room. Croy followed and took a seat next to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked me after a brief pause. I shrugged. "As good as I can be, I suppose." I retorted as I reached up and fiddled with the bandage that covered my shoulder.

"Luckily, it was just a simple graze, so Jason was able to take care of it here at home. But if it's hurting too much, I can drive you to the hospital." He offered.

I shook my head. "Nah. I'll live." I responded.

"Why didn't you run?" He asked after a short silence. I scoffed.

"Don't act like you don't know." I replied.

"I really don't know. It just doesn't make any sense." I furrowed my brows.

"How can you possibly not know?" I asked him, my tone fiercer than I'd meant it to be. I could feel my pulse accelerate as he stared at me with that doe-eyed look.

Without another word, I curled my fingers into his t-shirt and yanked him forward, pressing my lips urgently against his. He melted into the kiss immediately, his hand moving up to cup the side of my face.

"Do you really need me to say it again?" I asked in a whisper once the kiss had broken. He shook his head. "No, you're right. It's the same reason I refuse to run." He chuckled as he studied my face. I could feel my face darken even more. The way he looked at me was...consuming. It was as if the ocean in his eyes was ready to drown me. That would be a nice way to go.

"I love you." He reminded a few seconds before reconnecting our lips. I kissed him back longingly. My arms instinctively shot up and wound themselves around his neck, pulling him down onto the mattress with me. A huff escaped his throat as he curled his arm around my waist and pressed his torso closer to mine. The warmth of his body against mine, sent my heart into a frenzy.

I arched my back as he adjusted his arm. A small gasp escaped me as he reached back and firmly lifted one of my thighs. He gripped onto my leg and pulled himself even closer as we kissed. My mind was beginning to blank. The sweet taste of his lips, along with the way he invaded my mouth was causing all sorts of thoughts to run through my mind.

"Stop." Croy whispered once he'd pulled away. His face was flushed, and his breathing was ragged. "It's hard to control myself." He admitted as he caressed my face.

"Why do you have to control yourself?" I asked, my own face pink. "Because we are in Jason's apartment. Plus, this isn't the way I want to...you know..." He mumbled timidly. I smirked. "Why the hell are you so cute?" I asked as I leaned in and playfully pecked him on the lips. He furrowed his brows. "Who you calling a cute, huh twerp?" He asked in an indignant tone just before leaning in and tickling my sides.

"Stop it! Ha-ha!" I protested as I burst out laughing. " I can't breathe!" I wheezed in between laughs. He chuckled but gave in and let me rest. After I had caught my breath, I turned to him.

"Croy have you ever...you know, done it with anyone?" I asked him boldly. His face flared crimson.

"W-What kind of question is that!?" He asked defensively. I shrugged.

"I was just curious." I admitted as I sat up. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I clarified. There was a long pause between us before he spoke again.

"No. I've actually never..." He trailed off, his gaze focused on the floor.

"You've never...had sex?" I asked, trying to confirm his answer. His face darkened to a deep crimson when he heard my question. I smiled and gently placed my hand over his. "It's ok, I haven't either." I admitted, trying to cheer him up. He looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Really?" He asked softly. I was about to say something else when a bout of boisterous laughter emanated from the living room. Croy peeked his head out of the room cautiously. "Jason!? W-what are you doing here? I thought you were working!" Croy shouted.

"I was, but we were sent home early. Dude, you're a virgin?! Ha-ha-ha!" Jason laughed uncontrollably. Croy sat down embarrassed, his flushed face hidden by his hair. "N-no I..." he tried to protest. "I just, haven't done THAT....with anyone yet..." He trailed off.

"So, you ARE a virgin, ha-ha-ha!" Jason was laughing so hard, his face was turning pink. Croy pouted adorably, causing me to giggle. After almost 5 minutes of back and forth teasing, I asked Jason for permission to take a shower. After I freshened up and got dressed, Croy asked if he could drive me home. Plus I got the feeling that he didn't want to be alone with Jason. After a while of being in the car, I looked up at Croy. He was unusually quiet.

"Hey, forgive me for bringing it up again, but..." I trailed off as I cleared my throat. "Why haven't you, you know...?" Croy kept his eyes on the road.

"I just..." He paused.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." I assured as I placed my hands over his on the stick shift.

"N-no it's not that." He took in a few deep breaths as he gathered his words. "I only want to do that sort of thing, with someone I love. I only want to do it...with you." My face turned dark red. I didn't ask him anymore questions for the rest of the ride. Once we'd arrived, he pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. Croy got out of the car and walked me over to the stairs. It had started to sprinkle. "Buona notte Principessa." He said as he kissed me, a few drops of water chilling our noses.

"Would you like to...come in?" 

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