Camp Red Lake

Chapter 31.5 Fault (JasonPv)

"I'm here to see my friend Hazel?" I asked the nurse that was sitting at the front desk. She was an older lady, maybe early into her forties, with short graying hair, glasses and a kind smile.

"Sure dear, what's her last name?" She asked as she turned to her computer. "Gallego I think..." I said unsurely.

"Yep, oh and there's another boy in there with her. He hasn't left since she got here, maybe you can relieve him..." she said as she scribbled the room number on a sticky note and handed it to me. I thanked her and made my way to the room.

I knocked lightly before letting myself in. Hazel was asleep on the hospital bed, her arms were hooked up to various cables and she had a small tube in her nose. I glanced over at Croy, who sat on the floor next to her bed. The top half of his body was slouched over the mattress, his head resting on his arms. "Hey dude, how is she...?" I asked as I walked over and sat next to him on the floor.

"Doctor said she'll pull through..." he muttered without looking at me. His eyes were dull and glazed, dark bags hung from his lower lids and his complexion mimicked the bland color of the sheets.

"How are you holding up?" I asked cautiously. He shrugged and continued to stare at the wall. "Croy, dude. Go back to your cabin, I'll stay here and keep an eye on her. You need to rest..." he ignored me. "I'm serious." I said as I placed a hand on his shoulder.

He glanced at me through the corner of his eyes. "No... I'm not going anywhere." he mumbled definitively. I sighed.

"You can't take care of her like this, you need rest—!"

"Back off Jason!" He snapped. "This is my fault! I let her train in the rain, I let her keep going! I shouldn't have given in to her dumb idea! She has me! I can protect her!" He shouted, eyes watery.

"No, you can't. You're not a superhero Croy, you can't always be there. At some point she's gonna need to defend herself. It's not fair for you to blame yourself this way, especially for things you have no control over..." he glanced at her sadly.

"I can't lose her Jase...I can't, not after..." he trailed off unable to finish the sentence, but he didn't need to. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Dude, I've told you time and time again, that wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You can't wall yourself up because of what happened two years ago. I know the thing with your parents fucked you up. The thing with your friend pushed you even farther, but now you have us. Myra, Allison, Me, and her....." I trailed off.

"She's a fighter, I know she won't go down that easily. You see her as this fragile little creature when really, she might be the one protecting you." I said as I stood up.

"I'm going to put some distance between us..." he muttered without looking up. "As soon as she gets better, I'm going to give her some space. I'm not good for her, all I do is put her in danger." I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Suit yourself, just know she won't take kindly to that." I mumbled just before walking out the door. Myra was waiting for me just outside the infirmary.

"How is she?" She asked anxiously.

"She's fine, doctor said she'll pull through." I muttered as we made our way back to camp.

"And Croy?" I shook my head.

"He didn't listen, he won't move from her bedside, but I kind of understand him..." I trailed off as I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"How so?" She asked curiously as she fiddled with the pink bow she had on her head.

"If it were you, I wouldn't want to leave either." Her face turned red.

"Jase...you shouldn't say things like that..." she said softly.

"Why not?" I asked firmly.

"Because....it might mean more to me than it does to you." My eyes widened when she admitted that.

"Mai, how do you know it doesn't have the same meaning to me?" I asked as I stopped walking. She turned to me curiously.

"Well, I know we're good friends and you care about me but..."

"But what?" I asked sternly.

"But I know your experiences have made it impossible for you to feel the same." I arched a brow incredulously.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I snapped. "Is that really what you think of me, that I'm this angry, resentful person incapable of love!?" She glanced down at her feet embarrassed.

"I-I didn't mean it like that." I scoffed.

"Right. So, if I tell you that I love you, you won't doubt it?" She avoided my gaze.

"It's just...all the other girls that confessed to you, you turned them all down. You told them you didn't believe in love, that love was just a fairytale. You had such a hard time trusting people when we met I just—"

"You what? You ASSUMED I hadn't changed? That I hadn't grown as a person? That's great Mai..." I muttered sarcastically as I pushed past her.

"Jase, wait!" She pled as she pulled on my jacket.

"Don't." I hissed as I yanked my sleeve away and made my way back to the cabin.