FLORAL

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My eyes opened as i felt someone removing my lyric notebook from my hand.

Clenching on to it, as my mom turned off the lamp beside me. "Didn't want to wake you"  she spoke as i leaned up looking around.

"Just like your father" she smiled opening the curtains. "He use to fall asleep in that very spot down here working on music late at night" she softly spoke sitting beside me.

My sister walked towards the door as she smiled at me closing it. She pulled the cotton foot stool up as she sat on it.

"This is yours" my mom spoke handing me the picture and letter as my sister rubbed my knee looking into my eyes.

She didn't say anything as she leaned forward hugging me as she kissed the side of my head. "Listen to me" my mom spoke cuffing my hand with hers.

"Would you lie to me?" She asked as my sister turned my laptop toward me as i put in my password.

"When you worked on your album, we talked about every song together. You know that was our way of bonding" she softly spoke as i took a deep swallow.

My sister sat my computer down as she pushed play on the exclusive song i did in houston with Rihanna.

"Ha'keem" she pulled my chin towards here. "You know i birthed you right?" She smiled as she looked down to my shaking hand.

"A mother knows her children, and I've know for as long as you've known" she spoke as my sister hands rubbed my knee.

"That has never stopped us from loving you baby brother. Ha'keem I've given you so many opportunities to come out to me, and i don't want to make this about me because it's not, but it does hurt, knowing the relationship we have and you couldn't talk to me" she spoke as she moved closer to me.

There were too many thoughts going through my head for me to speak. My mom pulled my head to her chest as she held me. A single tear dropped from my eye as it landed on my sister hand.

"I know it's hard, now that you're experiencing finding the true you in the spotlight, but remember god gives his hardest battles to his strongest angels" she softly spoke

"I-"

Sighing as i bit down on my bottom lip.

"I don't know what step to take next" i softly spoke as my eyes watered.

Looking into my mom eyes as she was tearing up. "H. . ." I couldn't even finish the sentence without wanting to throw up.

Admitting who i was still haven't settled in with my soul, but i knew who i was exactly. She rubbed my back as i dried my face controlling my emotions.

"For years I've pretended like. . ."

"Pretending like something wasn't missing when he....."

I heavily breathed as my lips quivered.

"He's been that missing piece and i can't breath at times when i think about it" i spoke as i closed my eyes. My mom fingers wiped my cheek as she held me tight.

"He's always been the one" i finally admitted out loud

"Always . . ." I mumbled.

Shaking my head as my sister eyes teared up looking at me.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled as she dried her eyes sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry" i cried out heavily.

"I'm sorry" i huffed