I woke up in the worst mood ever I just knew that today wasn't going to be a good day
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• School had just ended everyone kept asking me the two same annoying questions "are you okay?" "What's wrong" sometimes I want to tell people how I'm feeling but I don't want to ruin their day whenever someone asks me am I okay I wanna say This sadness is the only clean shirt I have left and my washing machine has been broken for months. But I'd rather not ruin someone's day with my tragic honesty so instead I treat my face like a pumpkin I pretend it's Halloween I crave it into something acceptable, I smile and say "I'm fine"
I'm in the all white waiting room once again last night I was thinking how much better it would be if Ariana was a proper counsellor to me I wish she wasn't attracted to me so she could actually help me. I wasn't the person I used to six months ago and I'm scared that I'm not gonna get fixed
I waited a few minutes until Ariana came out called my name. We walked into her office and sat down "so y/n how are you feeling today" I waited a moment before I responded to her one part of my mind was saying "just say you're fine and cut this appointment short" the other part was saying "tell her what's wrong tell her everything she can help"
"Not good" I said as I stared down at the floor "what's on your mind y/n" "a lot of stuff" I sighed
"Y/n I know how you feel right n-" "no no you don't" I cut her off "I don't think you know how it feels to be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel lonely I don't think you know how it feels to feel like you're on top of the world to feeling completely worthless in a matter of seconds" I took one deep breath in and looked up at Ariana who was just staring at me "I don't think you know what it feels like to have a battery operated smile"
With that said I got up and left Ariana's office.
I felt like I needed to make a deep chapter so yeah ik it's bad but at least I tried
Anyway I just wanna give a happy birthday to Justin🎉🎁 I still can't believe he's 24 now
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