The counselor(Ariana/you)

Chapter fifty three

Numb, deprived of feeling or responsiveness

I walked back to Ariana's office bare foot because I didn't bother to put shoes on when I went after Camila.

Dragging my feet along the hard and cold ground into my counselor's office to be met with a very panicked Ariana sitting on her office chair biting the nail on her thumb as if it's the last meal she is going to be eating on earth.

Standing up abruptly when she caught sight of me Ariana rushed to close the door behind me.

'Is she going to tell anyone' I now noticed the sweat that formed on her head from being anxious 'no Camila wouldn't do that' I said monotonously sitting down on one of the chairs in the room.

'How do you know she won't tell anyone y/n' Ariana said raising her voice at me while standing in front of me 'cause I told her that I'm in love with you' I said looking up to meet Ariana's nervous gaze.

'Y/n you need to go home I need to think some things through' she paced around the room picking up my clothes for me 'what do you mean you need to think things through'. She now had her back facing me.

'You just need to leave for now y/n' Ariana whispered.

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I'm currently sitting on a sidewalk drunk, if you were to ask six year old me if I would end up like this well I probably wouldn't fully understand because I didn't even know what feeling sad was even like at six.

But the thing about me is that when I started to get depressed or whatever is wrong with me I actually felt sad but I've now come to the point where I just feel nothing, some people might think that's good but it makes me sad that I don't feel anything I just feel numb.

So here I am after waiting for someone to go into the liquor store for me to buy me some cheap vinegar tasting alcohol sitting on the side of the road with no one in sight crying, how lonely can someone get.

I understand why Ariana is freaked out right now but I wish she just let me stay with her because right now at this very moment in time I could really use a hug or something anything affectionate.

The vinegar had now hit me hard making me throw the rest of the bottle out onto to road making it smash all over the road, I stood up, looked up at the sky and screamed as loud as an Opera singer 'fuck the world'.

I stood there breathing heavily watching an all too familiar car slowly pull up beside me, the window of the car rolled down to reveal none other than....

Megan

'I think you've had a bit too much to drink don't you' she said with her famous smirk on her face 'fuck you' I looked at her with disgust 'are you saying that cause you're drunk or because of what you saw Kylie and I do on Halloween' she questioned I opened my arms wide and leaned forward a bit 'maybe I'm saying it because I fucking hate you' saying that wiped her smirk right off her face.

'You know what y/n' 'what' I raised my eyebrows to her awaiting for what she had to say 'I just came over to you tobhelp you out but I didn't expect you to act like a total bitch' 'just leave me alone Megan' I stepped further away from the side of the footpath 'I just need to be alone right now' I half whispered walking ahead.

Megan started driving alongside me 'want to go for a ride' 'I'm fine meg' I waved at her to drive off 'you're not exactly in the right mindset to be alone right now y/n'.

I stopped walking to start debating whether or not I should go with her 'come on we can get deep with each other' I looked over at her seeing her smile at me 'sure whatever' I said walking over to her car and hopping in 'good choice y/n/n' Megan said as she started to drive off.

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'Where are we' I asked looking around my surroundings through the car window we were at some forest 'I like this place' was all Megan said not answering my question 'you always loved the creepy places huh' 'well to some people may find some places creepy I just find them beautiful'. 'I guess we all have our own opinions on some things' I probably would've found this place very creepy if I weren't under the influence of alcohol and would've got Megan to drive me home straight away.

She turned the car off silence instantly becoming thick in the air cause the radio went off with the car 'let's talk' Megan said suddenly ripping the silence up like an artist not happy with the way their drawing came out.

'I don't really want to talk' I put my head in my hands 'I've had a really long day' I finished 'well' Megan started 'we don't always have to talk about things' I then felt her hand on inner thigh.

Lifting my face from my hands I looked over at her not saying anything my head started slowly making it way towards hers my eyes never leaving her lips it was as if my head was an anchor and she was the bottom of the ocean.

My lips were hovering over hers about to pounce onto her lips until the realization of this hit me making me pull my head back and shake my head in disgust at myself for nearly kissing Megan I mean I should've expected this from her but I'm not going to hurt Ariana again.

'What's wrong' Megan cupped my face bringing it back to hers 'I don't want to' I removed her hands from my face.

She fell back in her seat with a sigh 'I thought I nearly got you there' 'you just think I'm going to sleep with you because I'm sad' I asked 'that's exactly what I thought' she looked at me 'well at least you're being honest' 'come on y/n don't you miss last summer when we always used to mess around with each other I miss them days so much they were so fun' she said looking straight ahead reminiscing on the past 'you've really changed you know that y/n you're like a completely different person to who you were that summer' 'in what way' she looked at me making direct eye contact with me

'You were happier back then'.