The counselor(Ariana/you)

Chapter twenty six

It's crazy how we don't know what happens in people's lives,like when let's say when you finish school you don't know what your teacher is going to do you know I don't know if that's even a good example but I find it crazy that I'm surrounded by so many people that I care for yet they don't see the pain I'm in, they can't see the story that my eyes are telling twenty four seven, they choose to listen to the lies my mouth tells

Lately in school the days are just going by I don't even know if I'm actually learning but how can I learn when the voice in my head is not letting me hear anything but the words it's telling me

I put others before myself all the time and sometimes I end up getting hurt, what I done with Megan in the forest I didn't want that to happen and because I put her before me I lost Ariana

Ariana was actually the only person that didn't believe my lies, when she said "are you okay"it felt different from all the other "are you okays" it felt like she actually wanted to know everyone else's they just seemed fake, as if they asked me but didn't really want to know

Ariana was probably the only person I liked yeah sure I like my friends but Ariana is just above them in my eyes, I have so much respect for her but I guess it's hard to tell since I disrespected her trust and because I done that I'm sitting here at my desk in my room writing her a letter,explaining everything to her that I can't explain in person because my mouth is so used to telling lies it's hard for it to tell the truth

It's 6:40 am right now and I'm currently leaving my house on my bike because I want to go on a cycle to somewhere before I go to school

I'm going to my favorite spot, it's the most peaceful place to me, a place where no one can disturb me not even my thoughts because even my thoughts don't know how to explain the beauty of the view of the sun rising and all the beautiful colors that go around it

I'm only about twenty five minutes away from my house, I'm on top of this little hill with one tree on it and from here you can see nearly the whole city of Los Angels waking up with the sun

I like to come here to get away from everything even myself, I just wish I could've shown Ariana this spot

Looking at this sun is a blessing, it also makes me feel guilty of taken advantage of this life that I have, I do appreciate waking up every morning because I think some people in the world didn't get to live to see this day, but I can't help the fact that I'm hurting but I know one day it will all be over and when that day comes I'll finally be able to truly appreciate the life that I have

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"Hey baby" Megan said while grabbing my butt "hey" I said bluntly "what's wrong" "nothing meg I'm fine" I say putting a fake smile on my face "well if anything is ever wrong just come to me" she said while hugging the back of me and kissing my neck, she started to get a bit carried away she was now staring to bite and suck on my neck in the middle of the school food court

"Hey m-meg you need to s-stop" she didn't stop "meg" I tried again, at this point I knew she had already left a mark on me "meg come on" I say while pushing her off of me, she stumbles back a bit "y/n do you even want to be with me" she says nearly shouting "meg can we do this somewhere else please" I say starting to get annoyed "no I want to settle this right now" she says screaming getting everyone's attention

I looked around seeing almost everyone looking at us "meg stop" "no, y/n answer my question do.you.even.want.to.be.with.me" she says standing above me since I was sitting down "of course I want to be with you meg" I whispered "really y/n because you have a weird way of showing it" she says while storming out of the food court

In that second my mind was torn between "run after her" and "just let her go"

I sat there in my seat staring at the door she had just exited a minute ago
"I should just let her go" I say to myself picking up my tray and throwing out all the stuff that was on it and walked out the opposite exit with everyone's eyes still glued to me.