"Stallion!" I hear. I was downstairs making dinner for the family. I run upstairs and burst into my room to see Cole's body spazzing. Raven tries to calm him down. "Cole! Baby! Wake up, honey! Wake up!" I yell. His body is still jerking. I place my hand on his face and his movements slow. "Calm down, sweetie. Calm down." I say and when his eyes open, he shoots up and wraps his arms around me. "I'm right here. It's gonna be ok. I'm here." I say and run my fingers through his hair. He falls back on to the bed and he falls asleep again. He has been having these outbursts since Christmas. He never tells me what he sees or what causes him to spazz out like he does but once I'm in his arms, he goes back to sleep. I try to get up when I think he's asleep but his nails dig into my waist and he says, "Don't even think about it." I chuckle and continue to run my fingers through his hair. "How is my son holding up?" My mom asks as she comes into the room. "He's good, I think. I'm getting scared though. He has a nightmare or something whenever he goes to sleep." " I can honestly say that I don't know how to help. But keep doing what you do because it works. Look at the peace on his face." My mom says and I look down at Cole. He has a slight smile on his lips and he looks content. "Alright. Thanks, mama." I say and she kisses both my forehead and Cole's before walking out. I have a bunch of stuff to do but I can't move. And y'all know what? I don't even care. My boyfriend needs me right now.
*4 hours later*
"Baby?" I hear. I don't stir until someone is poking my cheek. "Yea, babe?" "Are you comfortable?" Cole asks. I look at myself and see that I fell asleep on the palm of my hand. "Yea." I say and lean up. "Question is are you ok?" "I don't know." "Maybe you'll feel better if you tell me what you see when you go to sleep." "I would if I could describe it. I'll draw it for you." "Ok. Do you need anything? Food? Drink? Blunt? Aspirin?" I say and he laughs. "If you get your mom to make sliders, I'll love you forever." "You already love me forever." I say and walk out the room. On my way to bribe my mom. "Mom, Bryante wants sliders." I say when I walk into the living room. "Tell Bryante that he's a niglet." She says as I'm walking back upstairs. "How's it going?" I ask Cole when I go back into the room. "Good. Kyrie, if I wanted to go to Juilliard, would you come with me?" "To New York or to Juilliard too?" "To Juilliard. You are an amazing writer. I'm sure you could get a scholarship." He says. "If I wanted to be a writer, I'd say yes in a heartbeat. But if you decide that you wanna go to Juilliard, I'll apply to colleges in New York." "Listen to y'all. Making long term decisions and shit." Tray says as he and Santos walk into the room. "Hahaha. This is gonna be my future wife. Oh! If I say wifey around you, I give you full permission to hit me." Cole says. "Why? Haha." "Cause wifey is almost like thot. If a girl is wifey, she's the main girl but a niggah still gone cheat. A wife is the one a man is gonna settle down with and treat her like a queen. The woman who is gonna be the mother of his kids. The one he'll share an eternity of love with." Cole says and wraps his arm around me. "Why you ain't sweet like that, niggah?" Santos and Tray say at the same time. Me and Cole Bol. "Y'all mad or nah?" I ask and they flip me off. "Come and get it!" My mom yells. "We'll meet y'all down there. I need to talk to bae ass." Cole says and the boys laugh as they walk out. He pats my desk and I hop on. He rests his hands on my thighs and looks at me. "Don't look away when I look into your eyes." He says and I nod. "I finished the drawing. I know you and I don't want you freak out." He says and slides the drawing onto my leg. One thing about Cole is that he can draw! His detail is so intricate that it's unbelievable. I pick up the paper and gasp. It was Cole laying in bed with his arms folded across his chest and it was something sitting on him. Then it was me in the corner being choked by some sort of demon. Cole's outer body was standing across the room and he was trying his damnedest to get to me but he couldn't. "I've been having this dream for 5 days. I don't think I can take it anymore. And this is why I look for you if you're not there when I wake up and why I hold on to you so tight. If you didn't believe that I loved you before, I hope you believe it now." Cole says and covers his face. "Ante, look at me." I say and rub the side of his face. His eyes are filled with tears and it makes my heart break. I cannot stand to see Cole cry. It's like seeing your mother cry and no child wants to see that. Before I get a chance to say anything, he says, "Don't let me go to sleep without you. No matter how tired I look, keep me awake. Please, ma." "Ok." I reply and pull him into a hug.
*5 hours later*
Because those are our niggahs, Tray and Santos have been keeping Cole busy. Last time I checked, they were at the YMCA playing basketball. Right now, I'm sitting at my desk writing a short story for English that's due when school starts. Yes, I am a procrastinator. Big time! I was listening to 'Brightside' by Mindless Behavior. Somebody taps my shoulder and I turn around. "How you doing, babes?" Raven asks. "I'm good." "And Cole?" "I don't even know. He says that he's fine but I feel like it's my fault that he's been going through this." I say and pass her the picture. "Babes, it's not your fault. And I don't think Cole blames you for this. If anything, you give him a reason to fight to end his nightmares. Like you always tell me: You are the diamond that he's been searching for all his life. Practice what you preach. I'll see you later." Ray says and kisses my forehead. I continue to write my paper, molding over what Raven said. My phone starts ringing. "Hello?" "You want something from the store?" Santos asks. "Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though." "Ok. We finna drop Cole off and Tray is staying with me." "Aight. I'll holla at you later." "Cool. Oh and I need to talk to you tomorrow." "Ok." I say and hang up.
*45 minutes later*
I was laying down, listening to music when I feel a pressure on my back. "You miss me?" Cole whispers in my neck. "You can say that." I reply and roll over to look at him. He laughs and kisses me. "Go take a shower. Sweaty ahh!" I say and push him off me. "This is that grown man sweat." He says and I double over in laughter. I grab his pajama set and lay it across the chair before sitting on my bed. 15 minutes later, Cole walks in with nothing on but his boxers AND ... he was still covered in water. Now I see why he gets sexually frustrated. Bae ass is sexy! "What do you wanna talk about?" Cole asks once he's dressed. "How do you know I wanna talk about something?" "You keep opening and closing your mouth. So what's up?" "Do you regret being with me?" I ask and you'd think I had slapped him. The expression on his face was priceless. "No! Why would you ask that?" "I'm the center of the dreams that you've been having. And I feel guilty." "Don't feel like that. Those dreams make me work harder to keep you safe. I told you that you're my queen." Cole says and grabs my hands. "Aight." "Now sing to me." "Pushy. Haha." I say and clear my throat. "Gave it your all. Cause in life and in love you believe it's all or nothing at all. So you fight through the tears but she was never there catching you fall, catching you fall. Put your heart on the line cause you didn't know that the that you found would be fool's gold. You deserved better, Cole. I can give you better, boy. I can't begin to understand the way you feel. It might just take a little time for your heart to heal. And boy I know that I can take away your pain. But I could be your band-aid." I belt out the lyrics to 'Band-aid' by Mindless Behavior. "Tell me where it hurts, love. I can dry your little tears, clean your wounds up. Yea. Baby, it was meant to be. Just a shame that it took pain to lead you to me." Cole says and I know that we both knew that we needed one another. More than we've ever wanted to admit.
