IV - Much Lower

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After a restless night, I was awoken by my alarm. 7:30am. Reaching to my alarm clock, I turned off the blaring sound of hell, I slipped out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. 

After brushing my teeth, I looked into the mirror hanging above my sink and saw the disaster that was my face.

Purple bags stained the skin under my eyes, making the one blue stand out more than the brown. Reaching into the draws beside my toilet, I grabbed my make up bag and my contacts before starting my morning process. 

Slipping the brown contact into my blue eye. I attempted to cover the ugly mark that allowed everyone to know that I had a nightmare induced toss in my bed.

Applying some mascara and chap stick I ventured back into my bedroom, avoiding the landfill of mess that consumed my floor. 


"Violet, me and mom are off. See you after school." Mamma called before adding, "We love you." 

Muttering 'I love you back' to myself', I slipped into a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a grey band top, finishing the look off with my converse and a thin jacket. 

Leaving my room with my bag in one hand and my fully charged phone in the other, I made my way down stairs.

Sitting at the island in my kitchen, I bit into my apple before scrolling through my Facebook and email. 

After a couple of minutes of 'surfing the web' I placed my phone in my bag, where I assumed it was going to stay all day unless of emergency and left for my car.

I'm not against phones, I love mine. But being to engrossed in your phone allows someone to miss the little things. 

Driving for a couple minutes, I arrived at school with 4 minutes to get to my locker and then to home room.

Arriving at class at 8:29, just as the teacher arrived to. Dropping my things at the desk, I listened to my home room teacher to ramble about the boys locker room news, until a knock sounded on the door. 

A small feeble girl poked her head into the door, handing my overweight homeroom teacher a note. 

She huffed before calling, "Kingston, follow the girl."

Collecting my things, I followed the girl out the door. Turning to the girl I questioned, "So... who needs me?" 

But the girl ignored me, but made me continue to follow her. She stopped outside a class room, opened the door and stood back. Waiting for me to enter. 


"Is this where I'm raped and murdered?" I questioned the girl, she looked at me funnily before walking away

Looking through the small gap if the door, I decided to grab my lady balls and walk in. Even if it is to my own death. Figuring this is the retaliation from the bar, I assumed the boys where in the darkened room.


"If your going to threaten my life, or threaten to make my senior year hell boys, I assume you do it fast because I have class to get to in a couple of minutes." I spoke, reaching my hand out trying to find something to stable myself

But I hit a wall. Running both hands on the wall, I could feel dents and grooves, but I froze when I felt it move. And then it dawned on me. Pulling my hands back, they were quickly caught, but body yanked back towards the body harshly, my rigid body hitting the other one. Ripping back my hands hard and fast as if it burnt me, I shuffled backwards and rushed out the door, not giving myself time to know if it was 'the boys' or some random person who wanted to be felt up. 


Sitting in my English classroom, I saw everyone, indulged into the words that filled the silence, reciting the words from a book. 

The words that were supposed to sound beautiful spilling from my teachers lips sounded muffled, my attention anywhere but where it was supposed to be. With my work. 

Staring at anything, other than the teacher is how most of the lesson went, until one key word brought my mind out of the abyss's, homework. 

"I'm going to collect everyone's work, but I'm picking on a few students who didn't pay attention during this lesson to read theirs." Mr Johns informed the class. 

And with his statement, I knew I was one of his unlucky chosen. 

He picked the usual's. The Barbie princess who tried getting away with reading lyrics and the stoner who repeated different types of weeds. 

"Violet?" Mr Johns called. 

Grabbing my paper, I started to read but he cut me off. 

"Allow your voice to be heard, Violet. Stand if you'd like." He commented 

Turning my body slightly, I did not stand, but I did read. 

"People say the eyes are the windows to the soul, 

But what do you see when the soul is gone?


I'm not okay 

I knew it first when I fake smiled at my best friend, 

or put on a show of the girl I used to be to pretend to be okay 


I knew I wasn't okay when I could say I was fine, 

and the people who knew me best believed me 


When I finally knew I wasn't okay

It was when I said I was okay and felt sick

It was when I laid in bed and wondered what it would be like to never wake up 

Or staring at a bus and wondering if it could stop in time


I knew I wasn't okay

When everything that wasn't okay, seemed okay to me.' 


Not looking at anyone else, I turned to face the front, my head down as silence lapse the whole class. Nobody made a snide remark or a stifled giggle could be heard.

"If you need to talk." he started first, before adding louder "Well done, kid." 

Soon enough lunch rolled round and I sprinted my way out of class and swerved the boulders which was students being a stampede down the halls. 

Getting to the hall, I see Lois, sitting down with two trays of food. Sitting opposite her , I bit into the burger. A moan slipping my lips before opening my eyes. Finding not only that Lois was sat at the table, But an uncomfortable Joey and Damon.

"Can I help you?" I asked, tilting my head. 

The boys were silent until Joey kicked Damon, "I wanted to apologise." He muttered, "For how I acted the other day."

Shaking my head, I looked at Lois to see her already staring dreamingly at Damon. Her crush since first grade, did I forget to mention that.

She stared at me, begging me to forgive him. I let out a forced puff of air before saying, "Okay. Forgiven." 

"No, I mean it. I'm really- Wait what?!" He questioned surprised.

"I said I forgive you, but if you ever act like that again. I'll aim much, much lower." I threated the boy before taking another bite of my burger. 

"Hi" Lois smiled at both boys, her smile brightening at Damon more.

Joey chuckled, looking at me asking the question, nodding, I swallowed my burger before biting into it again. 

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