SWIM // MITCHEL CAVE

(II) 4- happy

Jaz's POV

I was already regretting my decision to come here as my hands were fidgeting with the sleeve of my jumper so much that Cat has to scold me to stop.

Last night it seemed like a smart idea but now it just seemed silly. What on earth would Mitchel and I even speak about? How I ignored him straight for three months? Suddenly the idea of talking to him at all seemed stupid and I wanted to go back to the hotel.

Cat was having none of that however, and kept a strong grip on me with her hand as she led me backstage once we got to the venue.

My heart was racing and I felt slightly sick at the prospect of Mitchel being on the other side of the door that I stopped and halted right outside the dressing room.

"What is it?" Cat asks.

"I don't know about this" I mumble "I shouldn't have come, this was a mistake"

She squeezes my hand in a comforting way before sending me a warm smile.

"It's going to be fine Jaz" She explains "He's going to be so happy to see you"

Her words eased me a little but did I want this? What if Just being around eachother made everything awkward? I had been stuck in a blissful bubble of pretending Mitchel and my feelings didn't exist over these few months and now that was about to be burst.

"Cmon" She smiles as she pushes open the door.

At first I only see Christian who sends a quiet nod in my direction before my eyes finally land on him in the back of the room helping Clinton tune his guitar.

The door closes and they both look up and Mitchel does a double take, almost dropping the guitar but thankfully Clinton manages to catch it. He wastes no time in making his way over to me perhaps worried I'll run off again. We don't say anything and just stare at eachother as the others begin to feel uncomfortable and start shifting to the door.

"We'll give you some time" Cat says sending a wink in Mitchel's direction.

Of course she was helping him out. She couldn't help but meddle in my life, curse me for ever listening to her.

"Hi" I say quietly.

"Hey" He says breaking out in a smile "I can't believe you came"

"Well Cat kind of left me no choice" I say rolling my eyes.

His smile falters slightly at this seeing that I hadn't come here on my own according as much as he thought.

"But I do love seeing you guys perform" I smile trying to cheer him up again.

We go to sit down on the couch and we keep our distance but face eachother. It was crazy to see him right in front of me, I was so used to only seeing him in pictures from social media and now here I was again feeling like the same girl who used to sit backstage all the time when we were still dating. Only we weren't, not anymore and not ever again.

"I've missed you so much" He says, his eyes burning into mine.

I wanted to say it back to him because it was so painfully true. I missed him more than anyone ever before but I couldn't say the words back to him. I couldn't leave any opportunities for him to try and get us back together.

"So how was tour?" I ask in a more upbeat tone looking around the room at their belongings.

"It was alright" He shrugs "I'm just really fucking tired"

He looked it too, I could see it in his face how tired he was but I guess that's to be expected, travelling on the road for so long and playing shows every night must really take a toll on you.