SWIM // MITCHEL CAVE

(II) 5- trying

Mitchel's POV

"Who said I stopped?" She says.

Her words give me the feeling of relief I had been craving for so many weeks. I was so scared she didn't love me anymore or if she ever did.

"But just because we still love each other doesn't mean we should be together" She adds.

All the happiness that just entered my body had quickly disappeared again. I didn't understand why she didn't want us together again, we both loved eachother, we both missed one another, so why was she still insisting we stay apart? My mind couldn't understand it one bit.

"But why?" I reply.

Before Jaz was able to respond, everyone else returns into the room. I think they sense the slight tension in the air but they politely ignore it for the sake of getting ready.

"We're on in five" Christian nods throwing the mic at me.

I nod my head back in understanding as Jaz sits back again, not sitting close anymore and I already feel the emptiness.

"We can talk more later" She says lowly so the others don't hear "You better get ready"

I nod once more not having the words to reply. I stand up and go to get myself ready for the show. I didn't even know how I felt at the moment, my mood had changed so rapidly in the past few moments. I had to go out and perform however and I knew the music would raise my mood again, it always did.

We all head out the door and down the hall to the stage, I could hear Jaz and Cat following us to the stage side and Clinton leans down to place a soft kiss on Cat's lips before he goes on. Jaz and I make eye contact and I know she's thinking the same thing as me, we should be doing the same.

She wishes me good luck before I join the others on stage and I start doing what I do best.

-----

The bright colours and loud music consumed us as we sat in the booth of an unfamiliar club. It wasn't as nice as the ones back in LA but it was still fun and exactly what we all needed as we celebrated the last show of the tour. It had been great to travel so much and experience different places and meet new fans but my emotions had tainted the memory of this; when I think of tour, I just think of how sad I was and how much of a mess I became, and still am.

Now it was time to get back on track and stop feeling sorry for myself. Jaz was here with us which I was thankful at Cat for once again convincing her to join. She was currently sitting next to Christian laughing away at something he was saying. I loved her laugh, it was music to my ears and I had been deprived of it for so long.

Sometimes I envied how close her and Christian were, I knew nothing would come of it and they were strictly just best friends but here I was sitting across from them watching on with jealousy as he had his arm wrapped around her trying to convince her to do shots with him.

At the other side of the table Clinton and Cat were all over each other; as usual. Jesse and Pat were drinking beer and scrolling through their phone and so that just left me looking like a loner while I watched everyone else have fun.

It was like back before tour, everyone was gathered in a booth slightly buzzed from the alcohol with the bass from the music vibrating in my chest but yet it was different; I didn't feel like I was actually here, I felt like more of a spectator watching everyone else enjoy their night while I still felt sad.

Jesse picks up on my quietness and suggests we go to the bar for another round of shots. I agree with him and we make our way over ordering several shots of different alcohol concoctions.