SWIM // MITCHEL CAVE

(II) 17- forever

Jaz's POV

I was doing my usual morning routine of making breakfast for everyone. It was pretty early, only just turned 8am. I hadn't slept much last night and I knew there was no point trying to get any more now, there was too much to do today.

Instead of sleeping in the spare room like I had been previously doing, I stayed in Mitchel's room with him. After his bath he came downstairs to get me and make me come stay with him for the night which I gladly obliged to. I was happy he was finally letting me in instead of shutting me out.

He spent most of the night continuing to cry and I just soothe him with the most comforting words I could muster even though I knew they couldn't mend a damn thing. The clock seen almost every hour and I could hear his sobs echo through them all. By the time he had finally fell asleep properly, it was just after 6am.

I let out a soft yawn as I start cooking some food. It was sunny for the first time since we had arrived back and so I did my best to enjoy the sun streaming in through the window. The whole situation still felt surreal to me, this shouldn't be me here watching over the eggs; it should be Biddi. She always loved making breakfast for the family as she knew it would get everyone in the same room without any protests.

I let one stray tear fall before wiping it with the back of my sleeve. I lay out all the plates while the eggs start sizzling away in the pan. I start on the toast while the eggs are finishing.

Today, the funeral director was coming for one last visit to make sure everything was in order for the funeral tomorrow and I wondered if Mitchel would join in with the meeting this time. I hoped he would, it would be a shame for him to have something in the funeral he didn't like or wish he had included.

"Hey"

I jump slightly as no one was normally awake yet or at least not before I had brought them breakfast. I turn round and see Mitchel wander in slowly and lean against the counter next to me.

"What are you doing up?" I ask in semi scold.

He had hardly slept at all and so I wanted him to try and get some more instead of being awake.

"I woke up and couldn't fall asleep again" He shrugs.

"You should try" I say softly.

"Also" He adds "You were gone so I wanted to come find you"

Saying this he wraps his arms around me and holds me close; something I had missed and needed so dearly these past few days. I continue to finish the eggs making sure to not burn them while he rests his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry for being a dick to you" He mumbles.

"What are you talking about?"I say "You haven't"

"I have, I was blocking you and everyone out" He sighs.

I finish plating up the food and I turn around to face him. His eyes were red raw from crying so hard last night and I softly rub my thumb under his eyes as they look down at me with sadness.

"You were grieving" I say "You still are and you shouldn't ever apologise for that okay?"

He nods his head and helps me carry the plates through to people before we come back to the kitchen to eat our own. He sits opposite me while he tucks into some more eggs that I make for him and it's the most I've seen him eat in days but I guess now he's feeling slightly better, his appetite might be back. We don't speak much but it's not an uncomfortable silence, not like the one I had encountered recently.

Clinton shuffled into the room but without Cat for once, these few days they had been joined at the hip, even more so than before. Cat wouldn't leave his side for worry he'd fall apart without her. He seems shocked to see Mitchel and they send eachother a knowing nod, what can you say really? They both know what it was like, they both now know the pain of losing a mother.