Straight (Jikook)

11

UPDATE! 💕
Goal is 80! 💋
A little note: a small trigger warning, since I've talked about homophobia in *Asia*. Please don't kill me.

Taehyung had the wind knocked out of him.
"Bitch, what the fuck?" Taehyung shook Jimin by the shoulder.
"I went to drop him off and..."
"And ended up sucking him off." Taehyung cut Jimin off who rolled his eyes at the statement.
"But... You both were drunk so.." Taehyung waited for his best friend to tell him the complete story!
"He was drunk, I wasn't.." Jimin said timidly.
"Oh fuck... So you.." Taehyung shook his head in disbelief.
"I did. I'm so sorry about it.." Jimin said ashamed.
"No you're not. You love the guy too much. I always knew he wasn't as straight as he fucking claimed, he constantly looked like he wanted to mount you right in front of all of us. Awkward as shit." Taehyung spoke fast, Jimin bit his lip hearing the words. Was it really that obvious?

"But this was so wrong, he was drunk and delusional. You should not have taken advantage of him. Besides, Lisa is a great girl, she's like a sister to all of us. You shouldn't have.. if it's that real, he would have come around anyway, the sex may have manipulated him. " Taehyung said sadly. Jimin immediately looked down.
"But... Even today morning.. he may have feelings for me." Jimin said and took Taehyung aback.
"Okay, if he does. Will he leave his girlfriend for you? Will he?" Taehyung asked Jimin, he was angry at Jimin for doing this.

Jimin shot back.
"Who knows. Just forget it, you won't understand. You're so fucking judgmental, just stop." Jimin opened the door for Taehyung signalling him to leave.
"Jimin... This... You'll get hurt. " Taehyung said timidly.
"Get out." Jimin was so hurt, probably because he wasn't sure if Jungkook did infact love him. Somewhere he knew it, Taehyung was right. But what he felt that time, it wasn't just lust and hormones. It was something else, was he being foolish?
"I hope you don't have to regret." Taehyung said leaving and slammed the door behind him.

Jimin wanted to scream, it hurt so much. What if it was just a one night thing for Jungkook? He wasn't going to leave Lisa. He knew it, and he very well knew why.

"Guys! Let's go! Jimin are you ready? You've gotta practice with Taemin!" Jin shouted from the hall.
"I'll be out in a minute, hyung!" Jimin shouted.

He had to confront Jungkook.
___________________________________

Jungkook was shaking in the shower. He felt so guilty about what he had done to Lisa. If she ever found out, it would destroy her.

He also felt angry at himself for wanting to do it again and again. He ran his fingers through his hair as the water ran down is broad shoulders.
Jungkook closed his eyes as his mind filled with thoughts of Jimin smiling, laughing, moaning and arching his back up to hold him closer.

Pure sin and yet a felt like a blessing. Jungkook contemplated his actions. The right thing would be to break things off with Jimin but it would break his heart, Jungkook closed his eyes knowing him too well.

But Lisa, he loved her too. At least at some point he did, she would never be able to recover from the fact that Jungkook left her for a man. And what would people say if they found out? His family... What would they do? How would his parents react?

Jungkook's parents weren't homophobic at all, but none of their sons had come out to them as gay or bisexual, so Jungkook didn't know how they'd take the news if he told him.

What if they lost support from their Asian fans? BTS, being an Asian boy group had majority of their fans in Asian countries, most of which are homophobic. The youth of these countries were so much more tolerant but how could they risk it, they already had haters in large numbers, this could turn away supporters too. It was a topic very frail and sensitive. 

It is not easy for people in these countries to be openly gay, lesbian or bisexual. There isn't much knowledge on the subject and thus they're looked down upon. It was a harsh reality of the kpop industry as well, all companies were protecting members who were gay. Scandals were even started on purpose to cover up some leaked moments, he knew this too well. He saw his company do it for his hyungs. 

He was so scared, what if nobody accepted him? He'd end up all alone but what if he lost Jimin? Jungkook didn't know what scared him more. He let out a sharp breath and opened his eyes, he didn't realise he was crying.

Jungkook got out of the shower and got dressed in all black and packed his bag for practice. He had his back to his bedroom door when he suddenly felt two arms wrap around his body.

Jungkook turned around alarmed.
"Hey, babe. You okay?" Lisa smiled up at him and put her arms around his neck.
"Hi, Lisa. How was everything? " Jungkook smiled and pecked her lips softly.
"Mm hm.." Lisa smiled up at him,
"Well, I've been missing my boyfriend. " Lisa pulled him in for a kiss. Jungkook cupped Lisa's face as he kissed her.

But he felt nothing.

"What did you while I was gone?" Lisa smiled as she kissed his jaw.
Jungkook was a little alarmed, he still had hickeys.
"Nothing..I.."
"Just fucked a man in the bed we sleep in and made him suck me off just about an hour ago." Jungkook's conscience laughed.

"What's this?" Lisa pointed to the small purple mark on his neck.
"I probably hurt myself when I was drunk.." Jungkook lied. He prayed for Lisa to buy it.

Lisa looked at the mark again, she wasn't stupid. It was a hickey, she knew it. She remembered how Rosé was missing for a few hours on the pretext of visiting a friend on Jimin's birthday.

"Jungkook..." Lisa's heart pounded. And Jungkook gulped thickly, she could see it in his eyes, he was lying to her. She knew him well, she had loved him for so long.
"...Put..Put ice on.. it" Lisa controlled her tears somehow.
Jungkook's heart broke into a million pieces. He never wanted this to happen, having sex with Jimin had him confused on another level.

Not just his sexuality but also what he felt for him. What he took as appreciation and affection, could it be something else? Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat at the mere thought of Jimin but he felt nothing when he kissed Lisa.

It would be the right thing to do, to leave her. But being with Jimin could ruin so much, he wasn't even sure if he loved him.

They both ate breakfast silently. Everything was talking apart.
Jungkook soon had to leave for practice as did Lisa.
"Babe.." Lisa held his hand.
"Yeah?" Jungkook tried avoiding eye contact.
"Don't leave me, Jungkook. I'll... Be the best girlfriend. Please. " Lisa couldn't hold back and she sobbed in his chest. Jungkook immediately hugged her.
"You're perfect, Lisa... I... I love you. I'm sorry you feel this way. I'll make it right, I promise. I really love you."
"You do?" Lisa cried.
"I do.." Jungkook knew, it was one of the biggest lies he had told her.

He couldn't do this, he had to forget the whole Jimin thing. He was just going to talk to him, he knew Jimin would break down but this was necessary, they had to talk.

But he didn't want to let Jimin go, he just didn't.

Author's note!

I hope you guys liked it! 😭💖

Thank your for 7k reads. 💎👑

Since I'm all free now, I'll try and update as soon as our vote goals meet! 💕
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