Cookies And Cream (The Hollens Books 3)

10

Ethan Junior's POV

After listening to all the teasing from Alex, we went back over to the girls. We drank, ate, talked and played cards. I wanted our moments to always be like this-- double dates: Alex and Ashley, Zenia and me.

And maybe, one day, Jack and Madison?

It wasn't a secret that I was falling for Zenia. My friends saw it, and everyone around could tell she had an impact on my soul. I couldn't keep my hands to myself whenever I was around her. My lips craved hers and I always longed to hiss her and hold her in my arms.

But, for some reason, she just wouldn't take me out of the friend-zone and become official with me.

I wasn't an insecure guy who'd go around banging a bunch of random chicks just to feel better about myself. I was a good guy. And I wanted to be that guy in Zenia's life.

That late evening, I drove us back home from the park. When I pulled up to the penthouse's compound, I turned off the engine and looked over to her.

"Zenia, you know that I'll always be here for you, right?"

"Yes," she answered and undid her seat belt.

"If there's something bothering you, you can trust me. Just, please tell me why you're not allowing yourself to fall for me?"

She remained silent and only lowered her head as if she was about to cry. I leaned over to her and pulled her into my arms. "It's okay if you don't wanna tell me."

"It's just something I don't want to remember."

"Was it something you did?" I asked.

She nodded her head yes.

I heaved a sigh as I decided not to press any further. Something was clearly eating her up and she wasn't comfortable talking about it. I believed she would eventually open up to me whenever she felt like doing so.

I walked up to the suite and placed a kiss on her forehead before leaving her.

I got back into my car and drove carefully back to my house.

______________________
Zenia's POV

My heart was pulling towards him, but my brain was telling me to stay away. I couldn't forget what had happened, and since it had happened my future would be dull and all alone.

What I did was terrible and stupid, and no matter how much I tried to forget it, erase it and put it at the back of my mind, it always resurfaced and haunted me. If I had been more responsible, I wouldn't be filled with regret now and feeling so afraid.

I wasn't happy keeping this bundled up inside of me. I had to tell someone what I did, even though I would be such a disappointment. The only person I trusted, and would ever trust one hundred percent, was my sister. She wouldn't lash out on me and pass judgement or leak my secret.

I called her over, and, being the supportive sister she was, she came over immediately.

"What's going on with you, Zen?" she asked once she entered the house. 

I led her to my bedroom.

"Jas, I did something really bad, and it's haunting me. And, it's because of that bad thing, I'm afraid of falling for a guy who's pouring out his heart to me. I've been putting up a really tough wall, Jasmine, but, truth be told, I'm crumbling down in bricks."

I was in hot tears. Jasmine was looking at me like she didn't know who I was anymore.

"What did you do Zenia? What did you do that's so bad that you can't love someone?"

"I don't want to tell you. If I tell you, you'll be so disappointed, and may even come to hate me."

"Zen, I'm your sister. I would never get to hate you over something you've done in the past. You can trust me. You know all my secrets because I trust you. I want you to do the same; so tell me what you did so I can help you and maybe try to fix what's drilling you so badly."

She spoke with concern and seriousness. I needed to tell someone.

"I swear, I didn't know Jasmine. I swear, I didn't know," I cried.

"What didn't you know, Zenia?"

"I didn't know... I didn't know I was pregnant."

"WHAT?" my sister asked alarmed as she got off the bed and released her arms from around me.

I peered up at her with teary eyes.

"What the hell did you just say, Zenia?"

"I was pregnant," I said in whimper.

"You? When? By who?"

Her questions were flooding out, but I expected that reaction from her.

"I didn't know."

"Zenia, please explain this to me, carefully, because you're not making any sense at all."

"Before I finished college, I had a one-night stand with a guy I had been crushing hard on and I met online. After you left, I took it really hard. I began drinking and falling in with the wrong crowds and going to late parties.

"At a party one night, I was so wasted. I met a random guy at the party and we drank even more. I ended up having sex with him, but I was certain we used protection. A month later, my period was late, but I wasn't paying any mind to that. I was just grateful it hadn't come yet. 

"I went to a party and I drank again. I drank so much. The next morning, I woke up with a terrible stomach pain and I saw I was bleeding so I thought my period had finally come.

"But the pain was so unbearable I went to the doctor. It was there I found out it wasn't my period, but I a miscarriage. And he said that... he said that I may not be able to have another child because my uterus lining was damaged and it couldn't house a baby for proper development in the future."

I broke down into a fit of tears again. Jasmine placed her arms around me and comforted me, as I knew she would.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You weren't here, Jasmine. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to say it over the phone."

"So that's why you're scared of falling for EJ?"

"EJ is great, and if it does start off solid for us, wouldn't he want a family in the future? Wouldn't he want his own kids and someone to call him Dad? I wouldn't be able to give him that; it's best that I just stay friends with him than to lead him on and break his heart later on."

"I'm so sorry, Zenia. I shouldn't have left you."

"It's not your fault. I'm responsible for my own life and the choices I make. This is what I get for being so careless."

"Does Mom know?"

"You're the only one who knows. Please don't tell anyone; please don't even say anything to Evan."

"I wouldn't."

"And that's not all."

"There's more?" she asked with a shout.

"The guy I slept with--"

"Who was it Zenia? Who did you slept with?"

"I slept with him, Jasmine."

"You slept with who?"

"I slept with EJ."

"WHAT?!"

She paced back-and-forth like a crazy person.

"And he doesn't remember you?" she asked.

I shook my head no.

Of course he doesn't remember me. He wouldn't want anything to do with me if he remembered me.

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A/N

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