To Meet A Star ✔ (Star Series #1)

STAR🌟35

Mas mabilis ang takbo ng oras kung gusto mo 'tong tumigil. Noon ay hindi ako naniniwala, pero ngayong nangyayari na saakin ay napagtanto kong totoo pala. Not literally, though. It's more like whenever we're happy, excited or want the time to stop, we don't notice the ticking of clock. Lumalabas na bumibilis dahil natatabunan ng ating nararamdaman.

Tonight is the last night. Not totally last, but it feels like it. Nandito kami sa pavement, nakahiga sa hood ng Rezvani. We're silently watching the night sky and enduring the coldness of the breeze.

Kakatapos lang ng dinner at imbitado ang ilang kaibigan ng pamilya. It's now over and now is already close to midnight, I guess. It's fun because we're once again reunited. The stars of our mission, close friends of Sequi and some relatives. Pero hindi pa rin napigilan ang pagiging emotional kanina. Everyone felt sad about Sequi's flight tomorrow.

Sobra akong nalulungkot. Hindi ko na mapangalanan kung anong nararamdaman ko. Sometimes I feel empty, sad and stressed. Hindi ko na talaga malaman kung anong eksatong pakiramdam ang nararamdaman ko. Scared, nervous and devastated.

Naramdaman ko ang pagtingin ni Sequi sa gawi ko. I didn't look back. Kahit gusto ko sanang titigan siya magdamag ay hindi ko magawa dahil sa takot. Takot na baka mag breakdown ako sa harap niya.

"I've never seen you cry. Pero kapag sinusundo kita ay mugto naman ang mga mata mo. Bakit ayaw mong ipakita saakin?"

Mababaw ang boses niya habang nakatitig pa rin. I feel like melting.

I sighed, "I'm... afraid?" Natawa ako pero nahihiya.

"Affraid of what?" tila naguguluhan na tanong niya.

"That if you saw me vulnerable... like I can't bear to see you gone... you won't leave,"

Matagal na katahimikan ang bumalot saamin. He's in the verge of deep thinking again. Ano kaya ang mga iniisip niya?

"You don't want me gone..." it was a statement.

Lumingon na ako, "Of course, I don't want! I'm so used to you!"

"Then why want me to leave?"

I opened my mouth to answer but it closed. There are so many reasons and I don't know where to start first.

"Naia, I won't leave if you really don't—"

"You should!"

"Bakit nga?" Out of patience, his tone changed. Medyo lumakas 'yon.

"You're always making me your priority! It's time for you to make your family as your second priority this time..."

Because God is always our first. He knows that. We told each other that years ago.

Namumungay ang mga mata niya, "Is that it?"

I stared back. I think he deserves to know the other reason, too. He's involved here.

"I want also to... to see if everything isn't just because I'm used to you... to us... to this. I wanna see if there's really something beyond these,"

Kumunot ang noo niya pero gano'n pa man ay malambot ang awra niya. It's like something hits her strength and he loses a percent.

"You're... not sure?"

Hindi ako umimik. I don't know. I just want to know something. I don't want to be in forever uncertainty.

"You're not sure about your feelings to me?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya. Somehow, I felt guilty.

"There's a part that I am and there's also this part that I keep on questioning myself... Paano kung nasanay lang pala ako sa atensyon na binibigay mo, sa presensya mo, sa'yo? What if it fades? What if instead it will grow, it got withered?"