Chapter 47

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A/N: Just to clarify something, Maria Grace is NOT dead, she only suffered a heart attack.

Song for chapter: In My blood By Shawn Mendes

Lucky

I want to die...

I was sitting on the floor by the taps in the girls loo, balling my eyes out. I tried to suppress my sobs my covering my mouth but they still came out muffled. I cried about everything, I cried because I was nothing but a spineless idiot, I cried because I felt like so alienated, I didn't even know my own family, I cried because I found it amusing that I had been preaching about perseverance and fortitude to Abel when those were the two things that had eluded me my entire life, I found it amusing but I cried.

Suddenly, a cubicle creaked open and someone stepped out, I looked up and recognised the culprit to be Isabel Douglas. I quickly wiped my tears with the back of my sleeves. Isabel strode closer, she opened a tap and washed her hands in the wash-basin. Afterwards, she wiped her hands clean with a paper towel and disposed it in the bin. I tried to remain as quiet as I could but it was futile, she had already seen me and she was joining me on the floor in a matter of minutes.

What does this one want now?

Silence.

"Hi..." She said in a low voice, looking at my profile, I stared straight ahead.

Ugh, can't you just go away?

"Are you okay...?" She asked softly, and I felt the need to hiss or roll my eyes.

If I were, I wouldn't be sitting on this dirty floor, balling my eyes out!

Just ignore her, maybe she'll go away...

"This isn't the best place to cry, you know..."

This time I did roll my eyes. "I didn't know there were crying lounges in the premises."

Isabel giggled. "There aren't but I'm just saying, there are much better places to cry in than sitting on this dirty floor."

"Where d'you have in mind?"

"The football field, behind the bleachers, all yonder across the compound, the uncompleted boarding residence, the infirmary too, you could pretend you have a headache and cry there."

"What if they try to inject me or give me pain-killers or -"

"Naw.... They wouldn't inject you, It's just a headache, the least they'd do is give you Paracetamol, you can take it because you will get a headache from crying so much. All you have to do is say you're crying because you already have a headache." She chuckled, I turned to fix her a blank stare and she quieted down.

Can't you just go away already?

"It's better than sitting here on the dirty floor, close to the trash-can. I mean, they barely mop this place, some girls accidentally throw their used pads on the floor, aiming for the trash-can." I scrunched up my nose at that. "I've seen it, multiple times. So sitting on the floor could very well leave you with craw craw, jedi jedi or lakpa-lakpa (skin infections) -"

I instantly sprang up from the floor in horror. "What the hell? Lakpa-lakpa is on the head!"

Isabel burst into laughter, standing up too. We were about the same height. She laughed, leaning against the wall, clutching her stomach theatrically. I felt my lips stretching into a smile and I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

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