nights; h.s.

51

fifty-one

harry

Remember when you were younger and you'd get so tired at night that you couldn't keep your eyes open, even if someone paid you? You'd get dizzy, and all the sounds would drown out, you'd fall in and out of consciousness and had no idea whether or not you were dreaming, then suddenly your eyelids weighed more than you did and you just couldn't keep them open. That's what it feels like watching someone you love die. Every single moment is worse than the last and soon enough you just won't wanna see them anymore. I took care of nana at home for almost two weeks before my great aunt admitted her into a hospital. It's only been a few days since she's been there and I haven't gone one afternoon without being by her bedside. I'd stay there until she fell asleep and then head home which, unsurprisingly, was significantly hurting the little relationship I had left with Brooklyn.

Ofcourse I still loved her, it's Brooklyn, but I don't wanna plague her with all of my problems so I just decided to hide it all from her. Not to mention how she'd treat me like I'm some charity case. It's just better this way although we're not together as much anymore it seems as though she hasn't noticed.

brooklyn

Harry was cheating on me.

I knew it, I've suspected it for weeks, I just never wanted to admit it. All the signs were there- he he'd find excuses not to hang out over the weekends or after school, he was leaving campus at lunch and not telling me, he wasn't texting back, our conversations were dry, i barely even saw him anymore, and anytime we were together all he'd wanna do was shove his tongue down my throat so I wouldn't ask him any questions.

I felt stupid for letting this happen again, I felt stupid for even forgiving him, I could hear all of Derek's words playing back in my head. Part of me knew the only reason I haven't exposed his ass was because i liked having someone around at school. And there was only a month and a half left of school anyways so what was the use of causing more drama. But, that being said that doesn't mean I'm just letting that piece of shit walk all over me. I can play the same game and do it better. So, naturally, I decided befriended my ex-friends older brother who I barely knew. Just natural tings, you know.

As I figured, Carter was running laps on the school track after practice, which he always was. Harry had disappeared after school once again probably to go hook up with some dumb white girl so I was just going to ask for a ride and invite him in. I'd always thought Carter was cute, but I figured it wasn't okay because of my friendship with Maggie and the age gap between us but since one of those things aren't an issue anymore.. why not?

I walked through the bleachers, my fists deep in my bomber jacket pocket. There was no where to be found and surprisingly he noticed me first.

He slowed his sprint to a jog and eventually a walk, waving at me from across the track. I squinted, shielding my eyes from the bright sun and waved back at him. I stepped off the bleachers and walked down the track to where I saw his gym bag.

"Hey! Brooklyn?" He shouted, an open one-sided grin on his face as he jogged up to where I stood. "Hey.. you," I smiled immediately cringing at myself.

"Carter?" He chuckled, picking a water bottle up from his bag and drinking from it.

"No, I know, I rem- nevermind."

"How've you been? I haven't seen you in months" he nudged my shoulder with his.

"Good. I guess, what about you?" I nodded, smiling. "Fine, you know, all the same"

"Yeah."

Silence.

Fuck, say something.

"You know.. I usually see you walking home. I actually live on the next street, if you ever need a ride.. I have a car." He smiled again, swinging his black nike bag over his broad shoulder.

"..Actually.. Can I follow you up on that today?" I asked.

"Ofcourse, come on" he said happily, and we began walking.

"Are you and Maggie still friends?" He asked innocently after a brief silence. "Uh.. I haven't talked to her since winter break... she kinda disappeared."

"You kinda disappeared." He said back and I shrugged.

"Yeah i did, didn't I?"

"I tried to reach out to you after the whole Meredith instagram thing and I heard about your brother. I think Maggie gave me a fake number." He said and I laughed. "I didn't get any texts but thanks. It's nice to know someone cares and my brother's doing so much better now." I said and he nodded.

"...I could give you my real number, you know."

"Oh! Um.. yeah, yeah, please." He said, pulling his phone out of his adidas tracks and opening New Contact.

I quickly typed in my phone number and name and handed the phone back to him, by the time all that was done we were already at his car.

He threw his bag in the back and I sat in the passengers seat. His car was so nice and smelt brand new, not to mention it was a G-Wagon.

"Would you be mad if I told you I wanted to get smoothies-"

"No! It's no problem, I'm not in rush."

"No.. with you.."

"Oh.. Okay."