As his lips moved against mine slowly, I wrap my arms around his neck and take the time to actually enjoy this moment and to let my guard down. His lips fit perfectly against mine, just like a puzzle. Once we've finally stopped moving our lips, they stay pressed together, including our foreheads as we catch our breath. He tightens his grip around my waist and I keep my eyes closed as a flame sparks at the pit of my stomach.
"I'm not good for you," He whispers. "But I just don't give a fuck."
"What do you mean?" I open my eyes and look up at him.
"One day, you'll realize that I'm not a good person and that I am just not for you." He explains and I try not to laugh.
"Who ever said anything about you being for me? We're kissing, not getting married." I pull away and walk to the sink to rinse my hand and face off. "Don't take that the wrong way, I mean.. you're... um.. you're handsome and you know, you're pretty chill, but nothing will ever happen between us. Nothing serious." I assure him and he crosses his arms.
"Clean this mess up. Janine will be home soon." He utters the words while pushing past me. I wait a second to hear him run up the stairs and I close my eyes. I knew I shouldn't have said anything, but it'd be wrong of me not to because I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I look at the mess and leave it before walking up the stairs slowly and quietly. When I've reached his room, the door is cracked and I push it open, only to see him pulling his white t-shirt over his head. The door creaks and he turns his head to look at me.
"Sorry.. I was going to knock but it was.. cracked." I say and he shrugs before sitting on his bed, bending down to take his socks off. "I wanted to talk to you before I left."
"What do we possibly need to talk about?" He says, letting out a small chuckle that shows that he's upset. He's just trying to hide his emotion.
"About what just happened in the kitchen." I sit beside him. "I don't know you, you don't know me. Who knows what is gonna happen with us? But at the moment, something's telling me that we are only meant to be friends, and I want to be friends with you because I don't have many stoner friends." I smile and he does the same. "I don't want you to be mad at me... I just don't want to lead you on, Jack. And it's weird having this conversation with you considering we literally barely know each other. I didn't think I'd have a conversation like this with you until... well I never thought I'd have this conversation with you but if I did, I feel like it would have been months after we met."
"When I said that downstairs, I wasn't signaling to the fact that we were going to be a thing. I'm just explaining to you, before you catch feelings if you do, I'm just not a good person. I don't want to hurt you in any way possible. It was just some type of warning." He tells me and I suddenly feel bad for just assuming he thought something was to come of this. Then again, I feel kind of bummed because it would have been nice to have someone like me.
"Well, I'm glad we covered this. Friends?" I ask.
"Friends." He smiles and his bedroom door is pushed open, causing it to hit the wall. Janine is standing there with a disgusted look on her face and I cautiously stand up. She's holding forty dollars out to me and I take it.
"Thank you." I say and turn around to Jack. "Text me?"
He nods.
I walk past Janine and begin to make my way down the stairs when I hear her yelling again.
"Are you done being an idiot?"
"Janine, please-"
"No. You're a worthless piece of shit and now I can see why my sister sent your ass here."
"She sent me here for other reasons, not because of my misbehaving."
"Bullshit. She doesn't need another one of your father."
"I'm nothing like my father! I would never talk to my children like they were shit and I sure as hell would never put my hands on them!" He yells back and I stand near the staircase, quietly being nosey.
"Get out of my sight." She says and I hear him stand up. I hear his Vans squeak against the hardwood floor in the hallway and I rush out the door and sprint to my car. Once I'm inside, I pull my phone out of my purse and act like I'm texting. I look up to see Jack walking towards my car. I roll the window down and he leans against my car.
"What's up?" He asks and I shrug. "Wanna chill?"
"Sure. Get in." He walks around to the passenger side and climbs in. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Let's go to the beach."
"But it's like, eleven pm." I say and he looks at me as if he were expecting a point in my statement. "Um, I guess we can go. But what are we going to do?"
"Lets just walk along the shore, maybe sit in the sand."
"Alright. I've got a few blankets in the back that we can lay out. I've always wanted to watch the stars at night in an empty field, but an empty beach is close enough."
He chuckles, "Okay, anything for you princess."
"I'm not a princess, so don't ever call me that." I giggle and start the car.
"You're a princess to me." He says and I nudge him arm. I can't help but think about what I overheard about his parents. I also can't believe that Janine treats him the way she does. If only he knew that I heard...
-
We walk along the beach, listening to the waves crash hard. If it wasn't for the full moon, we wouldn't be able to see a thing.
"Do you ever just wish you could escape this world and create your own?" He suddenly asks as I shiver from the wind.
"Don't we all?"
"Psh, yeah..." He trails off. "It's just.. when no one understands you, it's hard to want to be here."
"I know what you mean," I say, my teeth chattering as I say it.
"Are you cold?"
"No," I say sarcastically and he pulls his large black hoodie over his head and hands it to me. "No, then you'll be cold."
"I'll be fine. I'm a man." He smirks and I roll my eyes and pull it over my head. It smells strongly of his cologne and I wrap my arms around myself and take in the manly smell. Even his scent is perfect. We continue walking until we reach where we laid the blankets out. I lay on my back and he lays beside me. I continue to shiver. "Still cold?" He asks and I nod. "We could always cuddle."
I don't bother to say anything because I loved the feeling of his arms being wrapped around me earlier and i'd love to feel them around me again. I feel him pull me into him, my head placed on his shoulder and I try pushing my developing feelings beside, but it's really, really hard.
"Can I tell you something?" He whispers and I nod. "Don't take this the wrong way, but... I don't want to have sex with you. I actually just can't see myself having sex with you, Alexis."
In complete honesty, I don't think I gave a shit. I don't want him for that, and I never will.
"That's the last thing I want to do with you anyway."
