Insanity (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Eight

I don't know why it wasn't awkward. Walking down the street, early in the morning, arm around Louis. It just felt natural. It felt like I had my best friend back, and all the bullshit games we'd been playing the past week or so, had just been a nightmare.

We didn't say a thing, knowing silence was needed. After a few blocks, Louis's phone rang, breaking our illusion. "Hello? Hey El. Nope, everything's fine. I'll meet you back at my place in about an hour okay? Yeah. Love you too." Louis whispered before ending the call. At that, I sighed in frustration and collapsed unto a park bench sat in front of a closed cafe, on an empty street.

Louis found his way to my side. "What happened Lou?" I begged. "I had no idea about what Nick did Haz," He looked straight at me, "If I had known, I swear-" He stopped. "But you said Nick told you why I, you know.." I shied. "Yeah, he said you started to hurt yourself because you were in love with Perrie, and you knew that nothing could ever happen." He asked just as confused as I was. "Perrie? Edwards? What-no. That's the farthest thing from the truth. Why didn't you just ask me?" I begged. "I didn't want to know the truth." He whispered ducking his head down. "Wait, you said you left because of the same reason? Were you into Perrie too?" I asked still confused. Louis shook his head no.

"Louis? I need you to talk to me." I whispered wrapping my arm around his body. "I can't." He finally breathed staring up at me with his ocean blue eyes. "Please. It's been long enough." I added. Louis sighed before bravely telling me everything I deserved to know all these years later.

"I left because of you. I never asked why you were hurting yourself, because if I had known it was because of Perrie, my world would've been crushed. I didn't want or expect it to happen, but I fell in love with you Harry. I tried so hard to get over it, but I couldn't. One night I got really drunk at a party, and I made a mistake. I slept with Gemma. We both woke up the next morning and agreed to forget about it, but I couldn't. I just had sex with the love of my life's sister, so I decided to leave. I'd never have to tell you how I felt, and face rejection. It was the best thing to do." He finally finished.

"Idiot." I whispered in shock and anger. "Haz, I know, I'm so sor-" He began. "No Louis, you have no idea. I knew about you and Gemma. I walked in on you that night. I was so mad, so I decided to get piss drunk. I found myself stumbling into a random bedroom. What I didn't know was Nick was in there. He locked the door and took advantage of me." I explained. "That makes no sense. You were hurting yourself way before that night. It wasn't because of Nick?" Louis questioned. "No Lou. It was because I fell in love with someone I knew could never be mine." I finally muttered. "You." I whispered turning my head away.

"You hurt yourself because of me?" Louis cried, grabbing my face forcing my eyes to meet his. "I wanted to tell you, but I was too afraid of losing you. I didn't want to be gay." I said now with tears falling from my eyes. Next thing I knew, I was crying into Louis's chest grabbing at the front of his shirt. "You fucking fool." Louis whispered in my ear, pulling at the curls in my hair.

We sat like that for a while. Just close. Closer than ever. It wasn't long before we laughed about the whole situation pulling apart. "You know, if you had just told me how you felt, this could've saved us both a lot of trouble." Louis laughed wiping the tears off my cheek. "You could've told me too you know." I smiled. "Who knew, huh?" Louis laughed. "Let's get back. Eleanor's waiting." I said snapping back into reality.

We both stood up and walked back to the dorm in silence, keeping a fair distance. Sure, we both loved each other when we were teenagers, but that was years ago. So much has changed. Too much has changed.