Insanity (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Fifteen

Harry POV

Louis shot me an apologetic glance before joining Eleanor out in the hall. How could I forget? He's with Eleanor, I'm with Liam. Shit. Liam. I can't believe he hit me, though I probably deserved it. I wish I could just forget about what happened with Nick and be happy! Though to be honest, I've never felt happier than I was this morning.

Moments later Louis burst back into the room slamming the door shut, and collapsing on the ground in front of it, a sobbing mess.

"Louis! What happened?" I ran over to him and kneeled in front if his shaking body. "Baby, please speak to me." I lifted his chin up to meet his bloodshot eyes.

"Eleanor is pregnant, Harry." He cried the worse words I could possibly hear at that moment. I fell back. I couldn't breathe. I stared at him blankly trying to process everything. What did this mean for us? After a long pause allowing Louis to compose himself, I asked. "Where does this leave us, Lou?" I glanced up at him, and just by the look on his face, I knew. I stood up to throw some clothes on; I needed to get out.

"Harry, please listen!" He yelled trying to stop me.

"I can't Louis, I need to leave. I can't breathe." I tried pushing pass him.

"Hazza, stop." Louis grabbed me, and I collapsed sobbing into his chest.

"I've waited for you for so long Harry, so damn long, but I can't do this. I need to be there for El and the baby. I can't let that child be raised in a broken home like mine, I won't. I'm so bloody sorry Haz. I have to do this, I'm sorry." He explained rubbing my back.

After a minute or so I composed myself long enough to let out a sigh. "We were just never supposed to happen were we?" I looked into his eyes. Even after everything, after confessions and late night kisses, after finding our way back to each other, it just wasn't meant to be. Louis shed more tears, and clutched his arms around me like I was his life, his everything.

"I can't do this Haz. I can't. I need you. Why did this have to happen!" I pulled him back and grabbed his tiny, beautiful tear stained face in my hands. "You can do this Louis. You are going to be the smartest, kindest, sassiest, best father there ever was. You know how I know that? Because you're strong. You are so strong baby, and I am so proud of you. I will always be here, and I will always love you." I whispered before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Friends?" I pulled back and asked him. "Best." He answered with one last love filled embrace. "I'm going to go take a walk, why don't you go talk with Eleanor." I smiled assuringly before walking out the door.

I thought at that point the panic attacks had stopped, but every damn time something remotely stressful happened recently, they came flooding back. I have been off my medication for around eight months now, and I would do anything not to have to go back to the pills....or the blades. I needed a new blade.

I took a walk to the local town square trying to clear my head; trying to find any other way to cope with all that was happening. I walked around and found myself sitting beneath a large tree in the center of the park. With a shaky sigh, and single tear, I threw my head back and fell asleep against the sturdy park tree.

"Yo. Wake up!" I heard an unfamiliar voice yell. I opened my eyes wondering how long I'd been asleep, and who the hell had the nerve to wake me up. My eyes wandered from head to toe to see the person hovering above me. Glancing down at me with a curious expression was a freakishly tall(and that's coming from me) guy, with fire red hair, an eyebrow piercing, and the most gorgeous pale green eyes I've ever seen.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked the stranger. "What's it to you?" He retorted with confident sass. "Uh, you kind of woke me up." I stated. "I'm just messing with you man, names Michael. I just thought I should wake you up so you didn't get raped or something." He chuckled not realizing the effect his words would have on me.

I stiffened and tried holding back my panic in front of this poor stranger, but it was no use. Memories and stress began flashing through my mind, and I found myself hyperventilating again. "Hey, are you okay?" Michael kneeled in front of me in worry. "Shit you're having a panic attack aren't you? Okay breathe buddy, tell me your name!" He distracted me. "Ha..rry." I said between breaths.

"Ok Harry, it's gonna be okay. Deep breaths. You wanna hear a joke? Knock knock..." Michael started, placing his hands on my wobbling knees. "Harry you silly boy, you have to say who's there in order for this joke to work." Michael smiled at me trying to calm me. "Who's there?" I whispered, finally able to control my breathing. "Harry." I looked at him like he had four heads. "Now you're supposed to say, Harry who!" He laughed. "Harry who?" I finally said completely distracted. "Harry up, it's cold out here!" Michael finished bursting out into laughter.

"That's dumb." I retorted. "Yeah, it may be, but you're okay now aren't you?" He smiled before standing and offering me a helping hand up. "I guess I am. How'd you know what to do?" I said crossing my arms over my chest. "One of my best friends Ashton gets them sometimes." He shrugged turning around and walking away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I shout at the interesting stranger. "I'm gonna go grab some pizza." He smiled. "Oh." I muttered. "Well?" He yelled. "Well what? Thanks?" I asked. "I mean you're welcome and all, but I mean well, are you going to scurry you little ass over here and grab lunch with me or what Curls?" He laughed. "I think I will." I smiled.