Crying

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Pain.

That's all I feel.

My whole body aches as I sit huddled on the floor of the shower, the water pelting my body. My arms encircle my legs as I hold them against my chest, the water drowning out the sound of my cries and masking my tears. The warm water had long since turned cold the longer I sit in the same position, but I don't care. I don't even realize it as I start shivering, my hair plastered to my face as my head rests against the tile wall.

James had left me with my hands tied in front of me, making me take the bindings off by myself. I had gained consciousness to see him putting his clothes back on, my face stiff from the dried blood that had dripped down from my nose and onto the pillow below me. I can still hear his words as they ring in my head, a chill running up my spine as I clench my eyes shut.

"Tell anyone what happened and I will make sure your precious mother never sees another day. Tell anyone, and I will torture you until you are left begging me for death."

I had cried as soon as he had left my side, the door closing behind him as I had let all of my feelings out. It seemed like I had cried for hours until I had finally stood up and walked across the room with shaky legs, barely making it there as the pain had flared up. The lock had clicked and then I had slid down to the ground in pain, crawling to the bathroom due to my lower body hurting too much to walk.

That's when I had gotten into the shower, sitting in the cold floor because it had hurt too much to stand. The water started out way too hot, it scalding my skin until it was red. I hadn't cared at all, welcoming the heat and the pain. It had distracted me from the other pain I felt as my hands scrubbed at my body in earnest, loud sobs escaping my lips as the dam on my emotions broke once again.

Endless questions fill my head as I stare blankly ahead of me, my eyes unblinking as they circle around. Not once do I ask myself why Jungkook didn't come save me, or why Jimin didn't. I don't ask myself why Taehyung didn't magically appear there to save the day, it as if he could sense I was in danger or had mysteriously heard my muffled shouts and pleas for help.

No. What I ask myself is why I couldn't do anything. Why couldn't I save myself from what was happening to me? I know he was stronger than I was, and had thought about what he was going to do beforehand, but I should have been able to stop him. Why didn't my powers activate? Why had I been so vulnerable and weak?

I am filled with disgust, disappointment, and self-loathing for myself, unable to move past how pathetic I am. If I really am as powerful as the guys say I am, why couldn't I do anything?

Now here I am, slowly loosing consciousness yet again as my weak body struggles to keep me awake. It's so much easier to just succumb to the darkness though, my brain welcoming sleep as the traumatizing events catch up to me. I don't want to fall asleep here, the cold water slowly turning my body numb. I don't want to at all, but I don't think I would be able to move into my room even if I tried. I don't want to sleep on my bed, the same place that I was taken advantage of in the most horrendous way.

The sound of someone knocking on my door fills my ears but I don't move, too drained to do anything other than lift my head. I can hear someone yelling for me to open the door as they knock repeatedly, them no doubt twisting the doorknob and discovering it to be locked. I don't want anyone to come in and see me like this. It would be easier if they would just leave me alone.

Nothing seems to be going my way today. The sound of splintering wood echoes throughout the bathroom as they force their way in, a soft curse of pain filling the air right after. I jump slightly from the sound but still don't move, uncaring and just wanting to be left alone.

"(Y/N)? Where are you? Sorry about the door, but you wouldn't let me-" Jungkook stops talking as he opens the door to the bathroom and sees me on the floor of the shower, his eyes wide as he stares at me in shock. He seems to be able to tell that something is wrong, his gaze turning concerned as he looks around for a towel.

He shuts the water off and my crying can now be heard, it echoing off the walls as he wraps a blanket around my shivering form. He makes sure that every part of me is covered before picking me up off the ground, him holding me against his chest as he takes me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

He doesn't speak, it as if he can tell that I wouldn't be able to get words out if he asked me a question. Jungkook seems to be the person that always comforts me in my times of need, his arms filling me with a sense of comfort as he sets me down on his lap. I watch his eyes as he looks at the blood on my pillow, a frown appearing on his face as his eyebrows crinkle in confusion. He still doesn't ask me what happened though, him simply rocking the two of us back and forth as my cries fill the once-silent room.

That's all I seem to be able to do today, but then again, it is my fault. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe I deserve the pain I feel right now. I was unable to protect myself, something that should have been simple. I couldn't do that though, and now I have to pay the price.

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