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Heartbeat

It is quiet, even the trees still around his form as he sits with his head in his hands.

He doesn't know what to do or what to think anymore, his days and nights melding together until he is unable to tell what time it is without looking at a watch or the lit up screen of his phone.

His eyes, which had once held so much vibrancy and color, are now dull and lifeless, it as if a film has covered them so that he is unable to see properly. It has been this way for as long as he can remember, his world dull and lacking the bright colors that he can almost remember being able to see.

All he knows is Sandra. He can not remember anything that has happened before she came into the picture, his days filled with her even when she is not by his side. He tries to remember other things, he really does. Every time he does though, his head pounds and his world spins, it physically painful for him to think back to the time when she wasn't around. There has to have been a time when she wasn't with him, otherwise he would have so many more memories than what he currently has access to.

There is something strange though. His world, a collage of greys and muted colors, seems to grow brighter whenever that girl is around. Whenever (Y/N) is around him for some reason, the colors that seem to blend together suddenly become vivid again, his eyes growing brighter the longer she is in his presence. He doesn't know why this happens or what their relationship was before all of this happened, but he likes it.

He likes how he can finally feel warm when she is around him, just seeing her face making him want to smile. He has no clue who she is though, which confuses him immensely and makes him want to get closer to her; to get to know her.

That proves to be hard to do though. Every time he tries to sneak away to talk to her, Sandra is always there. Her hands are clammy and cold whenever she touches him, his mind going blank every time. He forgets all about wanting to see (Y/N), becoming a mindless robot of sorts whenever this happens.

He is still curious though. He likes the way he feels when she is around, him actually able to think for himself for once. He displays emotions that seem almost foreign to him at this point, acting on them instead of mindlessly following orders.

Like a couple of dates ago when he had seen her talking to Jimin. He doesn't know what came over him, but he had felt a surge of jealousy course through him that had shocked him. The feeling grew and grew until he couldn't handle it anymore, storming out of the room with her in tow. He had felt envious of Jimin, wanting her to laugh and smile in his presence as well.

That had only gotten worse when he had seen the marking on her neck when they were out in the hallway together. He knew what it was, and he did not like it. He had immediately seen red, his anger shooting through him and making his pulse skyrocket. The sight of that hickey on her skin had almost pushed him over the edge, that is until he stopped to think about why he was acting this way.

He didn't know. He isn't sure why he got so worked up over something like that. He feels as if he should know though, which confuses and frustrates him. It is as if the answer to his question was right there in front of him and he just couldn't see it. He could feel himself slowly slipping back to the monochrome reality he has gotten used to, walking away without another word.

Now here he is, sitting underneath a tree in the backyard, his hands now playing with the grass. It is outcast in the room now, the room picking up on his emotions as grey storm clouds fill the artificial sky. This is where he comes to do his thinking these days, not wanting to be around everyone else when all they do is throw looks of pity his way.

"Taehyung?"

He starts at the sound of (Y/N)'s voice, his head coming up as his eyes search for her. He almost smiles at the sight of her standing by the door and then stops, confused by his feelings. Why is he always so happy when she is around?

"What are you doing out here?" she asks as she rubs at her arms due to the cold wind, goosebumps littering her skin.

"I was just leaving."

He stands before walking in her direction, intent on just walking past her and not looking back. He is confused why he feels this way every time she is around, not liking how conflicted he feels. She doesn't let him get far though, stopping him by grabbing onto his wrist as he passes by.

"What do you want?" He all but sneers out, instantly regretting using that tone of voice with her. She doesn't seem to mind though, her smiling up at him as sympathy shines in the eyes that he has always found to be so unique and filled with so much light.

"I'll get you out" she whispers softly, stepping closer to him. "I'll find a way to break this, I promise."

Break what? He thinks to himself, tilting his head to the side. He doesn't ask his question out loud though, too stunned by what she does next to move.

Her lips gently brush against his cheek and he freezes, his eyes wide in surprise. He can feel it as his heart jumps around in his chest even after she pulls away, his hand reaching up to touch the spot her lips had touch. It feels warm underneath his fingertips, his mouth agape as he watches her walk through the door she had come in.

He goes after her as soon as he remembers how to walk again, his eyes still wide as he goes through the door and closes it behind him. She is nowhere in sight but the feeling still lingers, his heart still going crazy in his chest.