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Pretending

I spent a few days alone in my room after what happened. Jungkook fixed the door that he broke, apologizing for breaking into my room as well. I don't mind though. He had thought that something was wrong when I didn't answer him, and he was right.

I haven't been able to face anyone as of late. I know I should tell someone, but I am just so physically and emotionally drained right now that it's preventing me from thinking straight. What James said still rings in my ears, the fear spreading through my body and making my heart speed up.

I can't let him control me like this though. He said that he would kill my mom if I told anyone, and that scares me so much, but what are the chances that he would actually be able to do that? If I told Jungkook or Jimin they would protect her, I know they would. At this point I'm just scared that Taehyung's dad will get involved and one of the guys will get hurt.

I'll keep this to myself then. At least until I can figure out how to go about things. I need to tell someone, me unable to keep these feelings pent up inside of me for much longer. I just have to pick a time when James doesn't expect it. I don't even know anymore though. I just feel so fragile and broken, it reminding me of how I felt after I woke up from my nightmare the Dream Serum had given me.

Today is the day I get out of bed though. James had dropped by, and I didn't let him into my room, but he had told me that his father expected to see me at breakfast the next morning. I change into a simple dress, not really looking forward to this at all. It's a dark blue color, it long enough to cover my knees. It connects at my neck, it exposing my shoulders.

I don't put makeup on, not wanting to bother. I run a brush through my hair before letting it frame my face, the strands barely brushing against my shoulders now. I look at my reflection in the mirror and decide to wear a thin, peach colored cardigan. It covers the bruises that still litter my arms in the shape of his fingers, the same marks on my hips and upper thighs as well.

Once I determine that I don't look too bad I walk out of my room and close the door gently behind me, running my hand through my hair as I begin walking towards the kitchen area.

"Hey, (Y/N)."

What does he want now? Apparently raping me wasn't enough for him, James appearing beside me before I even have a chance to turn around to see who called me. The smirk on his face makes me wince as I remember that night, my body shivering even though it's not particularly cold in the hallway.

"You are going to be mine from now on" he says quietly, his hand brushing against my own. I snatch it away from him and he chuckles, seemingly amused by my behavior. "I've decided that I've taken quite a liking to you."

"I'm not a fucking object. I'm not yours, and I never will be."

I gasp as I am pushed to the side, the right half of my body making contact with the wall. I just narrowly miss the painting hanging beside me, the side of my head making contact with the wall right beside it. I hiss and hold onto my arm in pain as I glare up at him, a dull throbbing starting up.

"You are what I say you are" he whispers threateningly, getting closer to me as I cower away from him. The fear that I was feeling before amplifies as he brushes his fingers over the exposed skin of my wrist. I can feel his powers of manipulation as they mess with my brain and make me whimper pathetically, the suffocation of the fear almost choking me from how strong it is.

"Just do what I say and I won't have to hurt you."

It's ok (Y/N). Just do what he says and then tell Jungkook and Jimin. Just a little longer and you can be free of him.

I nod silently and he smiles, reaching down and grabbing my hand in his. I shudder at the feeling, wanting nothing more than to pull away from him. I don't though, sucking it up and letting him lead me towards the dining area where everyone else is no doubt waiting.

All conversation stops when we walk in the room, my pulse quickening at the many pairs of eyes that are looking at me. Taehyung's father looks down at our hands and smirks at the sight, a chill filling the air as I look away from him. I can feel Taehyung's gaze on the side of my face as we take a seat and conversation starts up again, but I don't turn to face him. I don't know what I would see in his eyes if I did, simply looking at the plate of food sitting in front of me.

"(Y/N), are you.......are you ok?" Jimin whispers from next to me, concern shining in his eyes as he looks me over. He can probably see the dark circles beneath my eyes from lack of sleep, his eyes also lingering on the pale bruise on my forehead that hasn't healed completely.

"She's perfectly fine, right love?" James asks as he places his hand on my knee, making me jump slightly in my seat. I nod distractedly, a forced smile on my face as I look at his gloating face. I hate him. I don't think I have ever hated anyone as much as I hate him right now.

Jimin glances at James' hand and then back to my face before nodding, a less than satisfied look on his face. I can tell that he doesn't believe me at all, him still frowning as he and Jungkook make eye contact from across the table.

Just a little bit longer. I'll wait for a little while longer before I say anything. I just don't want them to get hurt.