Saturn- Brallon

5 | b r e n d o n

I believe that I'm a happy person. I've never had major depression. Nothing bad has ever happened. I've had a very good childhood.

But things like losing a parent can really get to people.

I've never been more stuck in my entire life. It's 8 am and I thought I'd be home in my bed and in the comfort of my room, but apparently my fever hasn't gone down and the antibiotics are taking too long. I suggested a stronger dose but they decided they wanted to keep me here another day.

I feel better. The coughs hurt less and it feels like the cage that I felt in my chest isn't as tight anymore. Why can't I just go home?

I feel trapped. It's boring here. I'm stuck in bed. It's hot all the time and I just feel like I can't move. I can't get comfortable. It's like a numbing feeling in my body that I can't do anything about.

All my pillows are on the floor and my mom went to the food court. I have no idea where my nurse is and can't be bothered call for them.

I climb out of the bed to grab my pillows. I don't fix them, instead I just lay down and cover myself with them. I'm hiding.

A few minutes after that, I hear a knock on my door and foot steps go towards the bathroom.

"Hello," the guy tapped my bed softly, "I'm here to check your vitals." He says. It's Dallon again. I hear it in the way he says 'vitals', he adds emphasis on the 'i'. I don't mind him.

"Fight me." I mumbled through pillows.

It's silent and suddenly I see his face peering in my fortress. "Maybe later." He whispers and flips my wrist over gently. He looks to the multiple monitors and begins to write something down on the white board.

"Needs... chocolate?"

"You look like you could use some." He says plainly. He shoots me a smile and then leaves out the door.

There's nothing to do in here but sleep and eat. I did all the research I could on pneumonia and found out that they're either keeping me here because of my asthma, my fever, or, like they said, the antibiotics. It's many things. I wish I didn't have any of them because all I want to do is go home.

According the Dr. Williams, pneumonia is when the alveoli become inflamed and liquid was able to get in. Streptococcus pneumoniae is found worldwide. It doesn't often cause diseases but when it does, the most common disease is pneumonia. It's one of the main causes for bacterial viruses. It also causes otitis media, bacteremia, meningitis, peritonitis, and sinusitis. I'm almost certain that it also caused me to get pneumonia on top of every other thing. Meningitis, I'm on my way.

My research also said that I really shouldn't have needed to be in the hospital. I should have been able to go home with antibiotics and then I should be fine. Then again, my lungs have acted up before. Also, I'm no doctor.

I've tried every game I could on my phone. The wifi here sucks so I can't do anything on it. I used up my data for the month so really all that's left is for me to sleep away my boredom. But I know that when I wake up I'll just be bored again.

I wasted an hour just thinking about the things I could do. In another hour the nurse will be back to check my vitals and leave for another two hours.

When we went up to the roof yesterday, I told him about my dad and started to cry so hard that I started to cough. He didn't really know what to do and I knew I would stop coughing eventually. When I finally stopped, he brought me back downstairs and got me more ice chips. Since then, he's been keeping a distance but I also think it has something to do with the fact that he feels sorry for me.

He's interesting I guess. I don't know someone that would want to be a nurse for fun. When they could do something cooler like run out onto the field and save people in car accidents like paramedics do. I guess that's what I find interesting about him. He just doesn't seem like a normal person.

My mom has been distant a little. My birthday is in less than a week and she wants to do something. But at this rate, I think I'll still be in the hospital for it. It sucks. My 18th birthday and I probably won't even make it to my 19th. I'll never taste the bitter drop of beer on my 21st. It's a good thing I got my virginity out of the way as fast as I could. Even if I don't die, I'm not sure everyone is going to jump at the opportunity to do a previously sick guy.

I lean over and press the button for the nurse.

"I need to shower." I say sternly.

"Yes, right." He says, walking in closer and checking everything.

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed to shower with the IV." I inform him while I watch as he stands there looking lost.

"Right." He covers it with a patch and then steps back for me to go.

"You don't seem like the best nurse around today." I mumble.

"Sorry."

I called him in because usually he's a happy go lucky guy. I can shower on my own. I can cover it on my own. I've done it before and now I regret getting him to come in. I feel better today and I know I won't need the chair this time to shower.

"Actually, I think I have it." I turn around to say. He's startled by the sudden movement because I bump into his chest. "Sorry."

"I'm sorry. I'm out of it today I should be better." He mumbles under his breath. "I think I should stick around anyways." He says.

I nod and close the door. I feel so gross. I haven't showered in a couple of days and I feel sweaty and smelly.

I don't lock the door incase he needs to come in for some reason. But I do run the shower and undress as quickly as I can.

Okay, maybe I do need the chair.

I'm a teenager, I shouldn't feel this tired all the time. I should be able to do more than walk a small distance and still be able to breathe. I hate feeling this way.

I take a while to try to wash away the smell of hospital and depression. I scrub my head so hard I think my fingers hurt, and I have red marks from the loofa pressing too hard on my chest. Everything about this stay sucks.

-

Hello this is exactly how I feel even tho I just got my wisdom teeth out. it hurts I highly recommend not getting it out
╭☞( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╭☞

Jk I know it'll be better in the long run but it sucjs

-jj