Saturn- Brallon

24 | d a l l o n

Things keep being thrown and I thought he was catching them all, but they just kept getting faster and now he's probably drowning.

I feel bad. I feel horrible. I feel useless.

Brendon isn't talking, like, at all. Not to me-which I don't really expect him to at this point- not to Hayley, and definitely not to his mom. He hasn't touched his phone one bit and it's been three days.

Yesterday Brendon threw his school stuff off the table and cried for a while. Nobody interfered and I watched his mom watch from the window. Hayley and I keep sharing sad glances whenever he does something even remotely small.

And in all honesty, I didn't think that the depression would happen so early in our relationship.

Right, now is not the time to crack jokes.

I think that it shouldn't be the end of it for him. But he'll be in the hospital during his exam break.

Oh, and he throws things whenever someone enters the room. We thought he would run out of things to throw, but he used the little strength he had and managed to pick them all up again before anyone could stop him.

Nobody has been in his room for a while. But on the plus side, he's doing better health wise.

Apparently on top of the loss of his dad and the two hospital visits, he's missed way more school. His mom explained to me that somehow he managed to catch up on everything and then his dad passed away.

Hayley nudges my shoulder and points to the room. "Now is our chance!"

Brendon is laying in the bed, back turned to the window and objects all on the floor. She's right, now is our chance. But what the fuck are we going to do? Bring him candy and hope all his problems get solved?

She nudges me once more and suddenly I'm being pushed toward the room. I press the handle down and open the door, bracing myself for a possible attack on some hidden object he's keeping from us.

But he doesn't. He just lays there. Chest rising and falling at a normal rate. I check his monitors and he's fine. He must be sleeping.

I sit down in a chair behind him. I don't think he would like it if I sat in front of him. Maybe he would just turn around and avoid eye contact if I did.

He mumbled something along the lines of, "I give up." And then shuffled on the bed.

"Were you sleeping?"

I moved to the edge of the chair to hear his muffled, "No." more clearly. "Are they watching?"

I don't even have to look to know that Hayley's staring and Awsten is occasionally looking this way. But I do and I see two new faces, probably his friends. They're all looking this way. "We've been watching you the whole time." It sounded creepy, but we have. We can't not. He's a patient. We have to know how he's doing.

He sighs loudly and scoots over more on the bed. "Lay with me." He says it as clear as day. So I oblige.

I turn around and close the blinds before sitting on top the blankets on his bed. "You haven't slept much." I state plainly, hoping to strike conversation.

"Kind of hard."

"Insomnia?"

"More like my life is falling apart." He digs his face in the pillow and curls his legs up. Gosh I feel bad.

I put my hand on his arm above his cast and feel him let out a breath. I'm trying to think of something to talk about, otherwise we'll be awake and quiet until he either kicks me out or someone else does.

He's like a delicate feather or something. I don't know. He's very careful. And soft. All I know is that I care for him and want to do anything to bring him back to the happy guy I had coffee with. Now he throws things at people.

"Why didn't you throw anything at me?"

"Why did it take you this long to come in?"

That's true. He's got me there. I hadn't even attempted to try. "Would you have thrown something at me if I did?"

"No." He whispers lowly. "You're the one person I want to see." He holds up one finger and I now know he's attempting to do anything but mope.

I trace circles on the skin above the cast and hope he's falling asleep. He really sleeps an hour at a time. Maybe it's just the circumstances, but I hadn't seen him sleep longer than that.

A few moments pass and I stop tracing shapes on his skin. He shrugs it off and clears his throat. "Hey, Dallon?" I hum in response, hoping it's enough of an answer. "Hold me?"

Without hesitation I'm sliding my arm under his and my other are under his head. He gets comfortable with the change as I pull him closer and drift off.

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here's a cute lil chapter ily guys

-jj