The Demon's Whispers

1- Hey baby

Started from a one-shot & now where here. 🖤🖤

••••••••••••••••••••

I sat in the car, with my cap pulled down slightly to obscure my face as people passed by sharing a laugh and joke amongst themselves. Occasionally I stared at the building in front of me. It's neon sight wasn't offensive to my eyes after living in Vegas for so long, it was natural, but to tourists it was another reason to pull them here. Night had fallen over Vegas and whilst most respectable people had gone to bed, I had just left my home and drove over 30 minutes across town to come to a place I swore I'd never come to again...

Today had been rough and I wrestled with the idea, feeling the pressure mount upon my shoulders, weighing me down like an anchor as I dealt with the museum, the show, the museum's website, a social media hack, a radio interview and a possible magazine shoot regarding my cars. I worked hard to be where I am, taking risks and missing opportunities that would have led me down a different path. Making serious life changing choices all for the better. Now I was trying to reap the benefits but found myself struggling to juggle my time almost it all.

Something had to give, it just so happened to be my patiences and resistance,when my mom drove home about me becoming a lonely, miserable recluse, if I didn't 'find a nice girl to settle down with.'

Now with the world trying to drag me under. An itch crept up my neck, settling deep within my skin making it impossible to get at. I tried to resist the pull, the urge to come here, to scratch that itch I just couldn't reach, a place where I could enter and know that nothing would ever get said, the building rating itself on confidentiality. I loved my fans and the shows fans but I longed to fade in with the crowd, to be free from any obligations. Coming here tonight would give me that, but in doing so, I would slowly start up the habit again. Like a sober man taking his first drink all over again. Feeling that buzz, that first kick after such a long absence.

I shouldn't be here.

I knew I shouldn't, which is why I was sat in the car trying to convince myself that just being here was enough. That sitting outside the place would be enough. But it wasn't, I needed in.

Looking away from the heavy black doors, I caught myself in the rear view mirror, my reflection looking back at me, my own mind taunting me to get out the car.

"Shut the fuck up." I bit to myself, hitting the mirror off its position. Looking around the outside of my car, I pondered.

Once would be enough... Wouldn't it?

No. Stay in the car.

I wrestled with my conscious, fighting it as my hand grasped the door handle, the small angel on my shoulder praying for me to see the temptation and to walk away. The devil on the other shoulder, lighting up my mind with everything that I knew sat behind the door.