The Demon's Whispers

32- Needing In

Zak coughed and spluttered, doubling over and grabbing his throat as he went.

"You're an asshole! God I want to hate you so much!" I cried in frustration before taking his hand and pulling him towards my home.

I was still super mad, but he also needed cleaning up and I did say we would talk. Once in the lounge, I shoved him on the couch and stalked to the kitchen, grabbing cotton wool balls, a bowl of water, a bottle of water for his throat and a hand towel.

"J-Jesus." He croaked rubbing his throat.

"You deserved that for going behind my back." I answered sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. "Come on."

He sits forward and looks at me through his ice blue eyes and black lashes, observing me as I set to work cleaning him up.

"I'm sorry. For everything.." he speaks as I dab a cotton ball on his eyebrow.

"You really hurt me Zak. I know you want an in, but not through digging and certainly not through my grief."

"I understand. I read the whole situation wrong. I should have never done that to you."

His eyes show his remorse and for that, I nod.

"Is Cody going to be okay?" He asks, in a gentle tone, it's a question that takes me off guard slightly.

"I don't know." I murmur wiping the blood from his chin. "He's still processing everything."

"I'm sorry it's so late, but I had to see you.."

"Why?" I ask turning my attention back to his eyebrow with a fresh cotton ball. "What's changed that you had to come here?"

"The nightmares..." He frowns.

My anger slips slightly knowing how he suffered from them. The things he used to say, confide in me about. It was horrific to hear, let alone experience.

"You were there and I just needed to see you in the flesh. To know you were safe." He added.

"I'm okay, well okay as I am going to be, considering the circumstances."

"I've really missed you." He adds making my heart sink.

"Zak—"

"No, please. Just let me finish because if I don't, I will never say it.. I really, really like you Leah. I'm crazy about you, and I know I fucked up bad but I've never felt like this. I'm so... So out of my depth as what I am when I'm with you. You're different from my past and everything you do is a mystery and miracle to me. From day one, I latched onto you, forcing my way into your life. Because you have this light about you that shines into my dark life, giving me hope and faith when sometimes, I have none. You understand me and I so desperately want to understand you. Every single part of you." He says holding onto my hand tightly.

"You got mad about the tags." I mention, knowing that it needed to be cleared up as to why I was wearing them in the first place.

Sure I loved Cody. I would always have a space in my heart for him, which is how I've come to allow him to be here, with me, when I know Cassie is ringing him constantly. But it will never be the same as what we had. The elation of being together, it being us against the world. Forever Lamb & Wolf. 

Things had changed, time and grief had changed us, morphed us into different people.

"I know, it was an asshole move too—"

"Cody took the photo.. The scan photo and left me the chains. I kept them because I felt like I had lost the final part of my baby Zak. That was all I had. A reminder that Cody had her only photo."