coffee // joshler

5

tyler's point of view

after awhile, i excuse myself to go to the restroom. im looking at myself in the mirror. im feeling small, and i dont think josh is ready for that yet.

i turn the faucet on and splash cold water on my face.

he had to pick a disney movie.

i try to think about big things to avoid going too far into it.

taxes, work, bills.

i splash my face with cold water again and then leave the bathroom to sit back on the couch next to josh.

"you okay, ty?" he seems nervous, and i feel bad for worrying him.

"yeah, why?" i resist the urge to fall into my headspace, focusing intensely on everything else.

"you seem nervous still. am i making you uncomfortable?"

what?

"no, no, no, no, no," i take his hand in mine and squeeze it. "you're not. im okay. promise. are you? you seem nervous, too."

"i was just nervous that i was making you nervous," he giggles a little and then looks down at our hands. "also, im nervous because i really want to kiss you again. but, maybe not on the cheek this time."

"you can, if you want," my cheeks burn and i look him in the eyes.

he leans forward slowly, and my heart hammers in my chest. his eyes close and his lips touch mine.

my eyes close on instinct and my lips move with his. its soft and warm and nice, and he pulls away too soon.

"you're driving me wild, ty," he smiles brightly at me.

"okay, troye sivan," i giggle and he laughs loudly.

"hush, let's finish this movie now," he wraps his arm around me again and i cuddle into his side.

taxes, work, bills.

"its getting late, actually," i clear my throat and shuffle around.

im getting little, and i know its not healthy to push so hard against it, but i don't want josh to leave. i want him to stay, but its just too early in our relationship to tell him.

"oh," he bites his lip and removes his arm. "i mean, its not that late, but its okay if you want me to go if you're getting sleepy," he smiles still, but he looks somewhat disappointed.

"yeah, i just, um, have to work tomorrow, you know? i don't want to be too tired."

"no, yeah, i get it," he smiles again and stands up.

i follow him to the door, guilt sinking into my stomach.

he stops just outside the door and kisses my cheek. "goodnight, tyler. ill see you tomorrow, yeah?"

i nod and look down. "nigh nigh," i hurry up to my apartment.

i collapse onto my bed and tears well up in my eyes. i probably hurt his feelings and he's never going to talk to me again. i hug my favorite stuffie tightly against my chest, letting it soak up my tears. i fall asleep eventually, hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

-

the next morning, i wake up with two texts on my phone. one is from ryan saying he wont be able to come in, and one from josh.

from josh: good morning. i hope you're feeling better. see you soon :)

i bury my face in my pillow again and groan loudly before i stand up. i stretch and then get ready quickly so i have time to catch the bus.

once i get to lemondrop, i step in and greet the few employees already there.

"good morning, guys," i greet them and shrug my jacket off before slipping my apron on and washing my hands. i get straight to work then, prepping everything and making sure the radio is turned on.

conan gray sings quietly through the speakers and ashley hums along while she sweeps.

"opening time," someone from the back calls out a few minutes later and ashley flips the closed sign to open.

josh arrives not long after, a small smile on his face when the bell above the door rings.

"good morning," i smile back shyly and begin making his drink before he makes it to the counter.

"good morning, tyler. how are you feeling?" he takes a seat in front of me and slides a five across the surface to pay for his beverage.

"im feeling okay. im sorry for kicking you out," i hand him his drink. "i wasnt feeling too great."

"its okay, i understand. its no big deal, really," he reassures me before he takes a sip. "perfect every time. how do you do it?"

"once i realized you'd be coming in more often than not, i wrote your order down on an index card and taped it to the back of the counter over here," i blush a little when i admit this to him and he smiles widely at me.

"thats so sweet," he reaches his hand out to sit on top of mine. "thank you."

"you don't have to thank me," i blush even brighter and then clear my throat, willing the pink to go away.

"thank you anyway," he winks and then stands up. "im gonna get to work. ill see you later, ty," he waves a little and then turns to leave, stopping only to hold the door open for jenna as she makes her way inside.

"hey, jenna," i greet her warmly and turn to make her drink as well. "how are you?"

"im fine... almost as fine as that guy i just saw you flirting with. are you two a thing?" she takes josh's seat at the counter and i hand her the order in exchange for her money.

"we went on one date, and he came over for dinner last night," i shrug. "nothing serious yet."

"were you dinner?" she leans forward to say this quietly and i scoff, my cheeks returning to the bright pink color.

"no, i most definitely was not."

"oh. so was he dinner?"

"no, oh my god. even if we had done anything, the first would be closer. im not a top at all. being dominant is not my thing. i dont even know why im telling you all this," i hide my face in my hands and she laughs.

"i know. youre very obviously a bottom, tyler."

"what? i could be dominant if i wanted. i just don't want to," i scoff and cross my arms.

"okay, hun. sure. you're a power bottom at most."

"how would you know?"

"i know a thing or two about a thing or two."

(an: oversharing time! my problem is that in my head im a dom but im always too shy to act on it so i remain a bottom 🫡)