coffee // joshler

61

josh's point of view

NSFW WARNING ;)

"no? what do you mean?"

suddenly, everything is too overwhelming. tylers looking at me with those eyes and his unnaturally long lashes, his eyebrows knitting themselves together.

i feel like im melting into a puddle there on the floor, embarrassed by my feelings and ashamed that im too afraid to admit them to the one person i should be able to admit them to.

"i-i just," i pause and take a breath. i open my mouth to speak but my eyes well up with tears again and one slips down my cheek. my mouth closes again and tyler seems to understand.

he says nothing, just wraps his arms around me. theres an unspoken acknowledgment of the words i couldn't say and neither of us mind the silence.

his hand runs soothing circles over my back and i lean into him, leaning completely on his wall of comfort and warmth hes built for me.

"it might take some friends and a warmer shirt, but you don't get thick skin without getting burnt," his voice is smooth and gentle and i pull away from him.

"i love you," i mumble, the words barely pushing past my lips.

"i love you more."

-

"happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. happy birthday, dear joshua. happy birthday to you," tyler wakes me up with his sweet voice in my ear. "wake up, j," he rests a hand on my stomach and leans closer to kiss my cheek.

i open my eyes to look at him beside me in bed, his eyes bright but still not all the way open. i smile a little at him and he smiles back at me.

"good morning, birthday boy."

"morning," i yawn and wipe my eyes, slowly but surely waking up. "what's the plan for today?"

"well," he sits up and slides his hand down to stop at my waistband. "i figured i could do you a favor before we get breakfast," he kisses my cheek and smiles a little. "if that's okay."

"if you want," i sit up, my back against the wall, and he kisses my cheek one more time before moving to lay lower on the bed, closer to my crotch.

he pulls my sweatpants down a bit and then pulls my boxers down with them. he goes down on me, his lips wrapped around me as he moves his head up and down.

i watch him move, bringing one of my hands to rest on the back of his head, brushing my thumb across the hair there. i don't push, just let my hand sit there as he works to make me feel good.

he pulls away to focus on the tip, flicking his tongue across it. i groan softly and he takes it as encouragement, repeating the action once more.

"so good, ty," i praise him quietly and he hums, taking in as much of me as he can before he pulls off again.

"y-you can like, push my head down if you, um, want," he sounds a bit unsure, somewhat shy.

"oh," i take my hand away, concerned that he felt pressured to say that. "no, i was just-"

"do it. its okay," he takes my hand in his and brings it to his face to kiss my knuckles. "and if my eyes water, don't stop."

"are you sure?" i ask him again, just in case. "and you know you can like... push me off if i-"

"josh," he squeezes my hand. "i love you."

i nod and swallow hard. "i love you."

he goes back down, leaving his focus on my tip until i get up the courage to push his head down a little, remaining cautious.

he hums quietly, his eyes closed as he hollows his cheeks.

i tug at his hair, pulling his head up and then pushing it back down.

we continue this dynamic, but i stop when i feel myself get close, afraid ill accidentally hurt him.

he seems to notice this and he speeds up, strategically moving his tongue.

"im close, ty," i close my eyes and focus on the feeling of his lips around me. "so close."

he pulls back to suck on my tip again, working his tongue around it until i release, my chest heaving as i reach my climax.

nothing like blowjobs on your birthday.

tyler swallows some and spits the rest, stepping into the bathroom to rinse his mouth out before coming back to bed.

"sorry. didnt figure you'd want to taste yourself, but i really wanted to kiss you," he smiles a little, his lips swollen. he leans forward and kisses me then, slowly now.

when he pulls away, i tug my sweatpants back on and make a mental note to shower before we go anywhere. "what about you?"

"i, um," he clears his throat. "im good."

i glance down and notice a wet patch on his pajama pants. "you came?" i pause and look down again. "just from sucking me off?"

"shut up," he blushes a little and hits me lightly. "you're hot, and the mattress rubbed against me when you pushed my head. leave me alone," his cheeks are bright red as he tries to justify himself.

"babe, you came in your pants," i laugh a little at him, but won't deny that its hot.

"i know," he huffs and stands up. "whatever. lets shower," he walks to my side of the bed and holds his hands out to me. "and then ill make you breakfast."

"deal."

-

after showering, tyler does as promised. he cooks pancakes and bacon for the two of us, and he somehow managed to make mine the shape of a heart.

"happy birthday, josh," he smiles and sits down across from me, raising his glass to me before taking a sip of his milk.

"happy birthday to me indeed."

(an: currently eating chicken alfredo)