coffee // joshler

33

tyler's point of view

running around the park is the most fun ive had in a long time. its empty except for us, so i have the whole playground to myself.

daddy is teaching jim to fetch while i play on the swings. i jump off and run across to the slide and climb up the steps to get to the top. daddy sits down on a bench and lets jim wander on his leash. he watches me instead of the puppy, a smile on his face.

i go down the slide and then walk up to sit next to him on the bench. "why're you looking at me like that?" i poke his cheek and he turns his head to me.

"like what, pumpkin?"

"like thaaat," i blush and bury my face in his shoulder.

jim barks and runs back up to us, jumping at me knees. i pet him with one hand and squeeze daddys palm with the other.

"i love you," he kisses the top of my head and i lift my head from his shoulder to kiss his cheek.

"i loves you too," i scratch behind jims ear and laugh when he falls over. "jim is so silly."

"youre so silly," he pokes my side and i squirm, trying to pretend it didnt tickle.

"nuh-uh. you," i shake my head at his accusation.

"hmm. maybe we're just all silly then."

"can we go ice cream now?" i stand up and spin around with my arms out. "iiiice creeeam," i sing my words in hopes itll convince him.

"okay. only because you're such a cute little baby," he stands up and then takes my hand, leading me away from the park.

knew it would work.

"lets drop jim off at home first, yeah?" he squeezes my hand and i look down at jim.

"okie, fine. im sorry, jimmy. i love you," i apologize to the puppy.

"he loves you too, hun."

-

at the ice cream place, daddy orders for me because im too shy. he says he doesn't mind doing it and he likes doing things for me.

"that's what im here for," he kicks my foot gently under the table and i kick him back, taking a spoonful of my ice cream.

"i can do things for you, too. i a good boy."

"you are my good boy," he smiles at me. "and daddy is so proud of you for being so good."

i blush and squirm at his compliment. ive never been good at accepting praise, but i do appreciate it. it makes me feel nice to know he loves me as much as i love him.

we finish our ice cream and then ride back to the apartment on his motorcycle, which is kind of scary, but still fun.

we walk inside and i flop down onto the couch, letting jim run up and sit on top of me.

"are you tired, love?" he sits next to me.

"nuh-uh," i take a deep breath and he chuckles.

"if you're not tired, why did you just yawn, sweetheart?"

"didn yawn. jus took a big breath," i mumble, feeling my eyelids growing heavy. not because im tired. im just blinking in slow motion.

"oh?"

"mhm," i cuddle into his side and he wraps an arm around me. "i love you."

"and i love you."

-

when i wake up, josh is sitting beside me with his laptop.

"good afternoon, sleepy-head," he smiles and laughs a little.

"shut up," i sit up and stretch before I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder. "don't make fun of me."

im past the point of caring about letting myself slip so completly into littlespace around him, but i still get just a bit embarrassed once i return to my normal headspace.

"im not. you're cute when you're small," he kisses my head. "you're cute all the time actually."

"you know who's really cute?"

josh looks at me and waits for my answer.

"jim."

josh nods, laughing. "yes. he is."

"im kidding. youre cute too," i run a hand through his hair, "cute and simultaneously sexy."

"you think im sexy, hm?" its a question when he says it, but it should be a statement.

"of course. very much so," i twirl a bit of his hair around my finger.

he hums again but doesn't say anything else, his attention going back to his laptop.

i stretch my arms above my head and then lean my head on his shoulder. "i think im gonna head home."

"huh? oh. ill take you," he presses a few more buttons on his computer and then closes it, a small frown etched onto his face.

"you okay?"

"yeah," he stands up. "its just that now i know how nice it is to have you around, i hate being alone."

my heart breaks a little and kiss him. "you have jim," i give him a small smile and he nods.

"yeah, i know. i just miss you sometimes is all."

-

josh is right.

being home alone now that i know how good it feels to have someone is terrible. i feel lonely and cold.

i eat by myself, i watch tv by myself, i pay my bills by myself.

but as im paying my bills, i realize that my lease is almost up, which means i can continue to live here, or i could move in with josh. if he would let me anyway. i think he would.

it feels right in my head and my chest, even though some might say its too soon. i feel my heartbeat quicken at the thought, though i know its unrealistic.

regardless, i pack an outfit for tomorrow in a bag and grab my essentials before i walk out of my apartment and to joshs.

"tyler? what are you doing here, babe?" josh steps aside and lets me in.

"i missed you."

(an: fast-burn.)