coffee // joshler

51

tyler's point of view

the week or so after christmas and before new years is normally a weird time. everything is in this sort of relaxed limbo.

today however, is different.

the cafe isnt too busy, but the couple we're catering for is coming in to do a few taste tests. i have the samples prepared, everything is ready. that doesn't stop me from being nervous.

the wedding planner arrives first, dressed in clothes that make me feel homeless.

"tyler, good to see you. the bride and groom will be here any minute," she smiles at me, and she seems much friendlier than i remember. i guess the christmas spirit got to her.

the planner, who ive learned is named haylee, makes some small talk while we wait for the couple. she tells me about the color scheme, which is blue and gray.

when the couple walks in, i recognize their faces. theyve come in quite a few times to get a coffee and work on their laptops.

i stand and smile, shaking their hands and introducing myself.

"hi! im tyler. congratulations," i remain standing while they sit and they introduce themselves as well.

"thank you! oh, and my name is madeline," she gives me a bright smile and then wraps her arm around the man. "and this is emory."

"nice to meet you both," i clasp my hands together. "lets get to it, shall we?"

"yes! im so excited," madeline claps her hands, her smile widening.

i head to the back to collect the samples and then return, setting the tray on the table and then taking a seat.

"feel free to ask any questions. i make everything myself, so if you'd like any substitutions, i could definitely do so," i hand them each forks and napkins, which i grabbed on my way back to the front.

they begin tasting each cake, making comments after each one.

"i like this icing best," emory says. "but this cake better."

"buttercream frosting and lemon cake," i chime in quietly.

"i like the icing, but i like the chocolate cake more than the lemon," his fiance replies, taking a napkin to wipe her mouth.

emory takes another bite of the chocolate and nods. "im good with that."

once we finalize the flavors, i write them down and we go about deciding the design.

"two layers," emory nods, not hesitating for a second.

"definitely," madeline nods back. "and can we get, like, periwinkle flowers down the side?"

haylee, who's been relatively quiet up until now, speaks up. "i think that will look lovely in contrast with the blue of the bridesmaids dresses."

"i can totally do that," i nod and sketch it out on the paper before i slide it over. "like that?"

"its perfect," madeline takes her partners hand and squeezes it.

"i agree," he clears his throat. "but now comes the important part."

"what is it?" i figure he'll ask about the price, which ive already been calculating in my head.

"can you serve those honey biscuits too?"

-

when i get home, im exaughsted.

aside from making each sample and having that meeting, i still had to work on serving customers afterwards. the cafe was busy, and by the time i made it to my car, i felt like crying.

i wanted to be little, but i know im trying to steer away from that, so instead, i took a few deep breaths. and on the way home, i sing a few songs ive been working on here and there.

"i do not know why i would go in front of you and hide my soul, cause you're the only one who knows it. yeah, you're the only one who knows it. and i will hide behind my pride. i don't know why i think i could lie cause there's a screen on my chest."

once i pull into the parking lot, i wander up to my apartment, my mind going to what my wedding will be like. i see josh standing at the alter, a nice suit, smiling at me. i see zack and jay standing to my side, but jordan next to josh.

when i make it inside, i hear josh humming in the kitchen to a song by my chemical romance and i smile to myself.

i close the door quietly and walk into the kitchen.

"cause the hardest part of this is leaving you," i sing and he jumps a bit.

he turns to see me and smiles. "hey, baby. how was work?"

"tiring," i offer a weak smile in return. "what about you? what's cooking, good looking?" i giggle a little and kiss his cheek.

"stir-fry."

while josh finishes dinner, i decide to practice my ukeulele. i strum to a song i wrote, singing quietly in the living room. jim watches with curious eyes, and josh has paused his music to listen.

"we dont believe whats on tv because its what we want to see. and what we want, we know we cant believe. we have all learned to kill our dreams. i need to know that when i fail, youll still be here. cause if you stick around, ill sing you pretty sounds and we'll make money selling your hair. but i don't care whats in your hair, i just wanna know whats on your mind. i used to say i wanna die before im old. but because of you i might think twice."

josh is standing in the doorway when i finally look up, a smile on his face. "dinners ready, love."

i blush a little and put my ukulele back in its case, walking over and sitting at the table.

"that was a really good song, tyler. you wrote that?" he takes a sip of his water.

"i did," i blush a little, still not quite as confident as id like to be. "thank you."

"i wish i could be as talented as you," he shakes his head. "your mind is so uniquely beautiful, and so is every word that comes out of it."

(an: heres my updated tøp album rankings:

- self titled
-vessel
-blurryface
-regional at best
-trench
-sai

self titled is superior. which is ironic, because i have a vessel tattoo. truce is my baby, idc.

heres when i first got it. it was my very first tattoo and i love her)