Unfazed

62. Push Comes To Shove - Part 2 (Deven)

(Not gonna say anything, except that when you read the chapter, you will understand what the image above means.

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Tell her you're sorry and that you don't mean all that – said the rational part of my brain. I had just taken out all my shock and frustration of the complication and less than welcome news of Vish having been in contact with Viren Kothari, on Deeksha. Not a good move, especially when I should be working to get closer to her.

But my mind was a mess. My life would be soon too, if the air didn't clear up.

When I lost my cool, Deeksha flinched. I wanted to tell her I was not angry with her – I could never be. Annoyed? Yes. Irritated? Absolutely. Frustrated? Maybe. Never "angry" though. Sweet, caring, trusting as she has been, with me. And yet, I couldn't. I didn't want to scare her. Or lose her. And it looked like I managed to do both in one shot.

Then of course, there's the whole problem that my brother is likely to be pals with the guy who had ruined my best friend's life. Not to mention the fact that if things could get any worse, Harsh would never talk to me again. After all, if I were in his place, I wouldn't either.

I kept my eyes transfixed onto random things around me, afraid to look at Deeksha after lashing out at her like that. She had gotten up from her seat and started pacing up and down in the aisle between the tables. After what seemed like an eternity of trying to muster the courage to apologize to her for snapping like that, she turned to me and said, "You know what? You're right."

There was a strange sense of calm to her voice like the noticeable stillness of the atmosphere before a storm. I look up at her in equal amounts of surprise and dread – surprise that she seemed to be agreeing with me about something on the first go, without challenging me and dread, that there was nothing I could do to prevent losing her now.

"I'm sorry?" I say, in disbelief.

"I said... You're right!" she snaps at me. What follows is a speech I could never have prepared myself for.

"Ever since you've come into my life, it only seems like the number of problems I face on a daily basis, has increased. Hell, I have never had major disagreements with my brother, in a really long time – and even that, has happened", she says. I flinch under the strength and fire of her gaze and silently pray for some sort of superhuman intervention to save me.

She goes on with, "First, there is the whole mess of the fight between you and Harsh, because of me getting drugged at that stupid party and then the whole accident at the annual play. Once that got over, of course you had to somehow creep into the scene by being Vishwas's brother!"

Oh Gods – nothing can save me now, I think to myself.

"And then, to top it all, you also happen to be the heir one of the largest developers in the state, if not the country and working with you is like a dream come true for me", she says.

Wait – did she say.. dream come true?

Before I can process what's happening, she stops walking up and down and stations herself in front of me, looking down at my now bewildered expression.

"Listen here, Devendra Rajkiran Sanghvi and I don't intend to repeat myself – I do not regret meeting you. You are a wonderful person, a 'way too ethical' boss and a GOOD friend to Harsh, as well as myself. Sure, there have been a whole bunch of crazy things happening, but if you saw things the way I did, you'd realize that you aren't a part of my problems... You, are a part of the solutions!"

"I.. Uh.. Umm.." I say, unable to fully process everything I could register. Deeksha holds up her hand to stop me from saying any further and in that moment, she reminds me so much of Rohini Aunty that I almost smile. Almost.

"Let me finish" she says, before bending down to my eye level.

Now face to face, she says, her voice much softer than I have ever heard, "At the first party, YOU took me away from the people who were trying to harm me to get at your team. During the play, YOU left everything – even your dad – to come and save from a fatal or at least lifelong injury. When I didn't know what to do with my career – as luck would have it, you gave me a chance to work together and trust me when I say, I love what I'm doing.

And most importantly, when you have close to no reason to, you've been doing nothing but helping Harsh with the restaurant problem. So blame ME, Dev, but your entire argument is flawed."

The gratitude I felt for having someone see the good in me in each of the instances where I thought I harboured my hamartia, could not be expressed in words. And I didn't want to ruin it with anything else.

From where we were, I knew that the "Thank you" I whispered to her was more than enough to let her know how much I wanted to tell her – but couldn't. Or how much I wanted for us to be more than just friends or colleagues.

At that moment, I couldn't think of a time when I hadn't had this girl around – and I certainly could not think of a time when I wouldn't.

"You really didn't know about this, did you?" she asks me – not having broken eye contact with me, the entire time. I couldn't speak – I simply nodded.

"I thought so", she says – almost to herself.

I wondered if she could hear the thundering of my heart in my ribcage as loudly as I could. I felt like I had just run a marathon – but also I could run another with this strange high I felt.

"Well...?" I ask, as she resumes her seat next to me, nonchalantly, seemingly deep in thought. "Now what?" I urge as I watch her pick up a sandwich and nibble into it as if we didn't just have a life-changing conversation between the two of us.

"What do you mean, now what?" she replies, with a twinkle in her eyes. "First, we find Harsh and Ally to calm down. Then..." she says, stopping to take a sip of her hot chocolate without a care in the world.

"Then?" I ask, my nerves barely settled. "Then, we burn Rome", she replies.