Unfazed

85. Panic - Not At The Disco (Deven)

Practically hopping off my bike, I saw the car parked in the middle of the trail, but I could see no visible movement inside or around me. Fighting hard with myself to swallow the bile that rose at the back of my throat, as I crept closer, I could vaguely make out the presence of a person in the front seat.

I cannot describe the relief that flooded through me when I saw Dee but could not sight Viren anywhere. As soon as she saw me, she literally jumped with joy in her seat but to both our dismay, the door was stuck. Or locked. We couldn't say, with Viren.

Dee cursed out loud but I couldn't help myself. "Dee – where is Viren – are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah – Yeah. Unharmed – but I'm stuck! This goddamn door won't open!!" she nearly shrieked. Both of us took turns trying to pry it open, but not even sheer force seemed to help.

"Dev I think the child lock is on and he locked the car from the outside and something has gone wrong within", she said, her voice more unsettled than I'd ever heard. "The window has a button too, so I can't roll it down!!" she exclaimed.

"Where's Viren?" I asked and she said, "He.. Umm.. He said there was something wrong with the engine and wanted to check. Then, he went to – get some water", she fumbled.

Though I couldn't hear her from outside the glass, I could see that Deeksha was breathing abnormally. I tried to get responses from her but her mind seemed to be away and she was looking everywhere except directly at me.

What could be wrong? I wondered to myself. Then it struck me – she was most likely claustrophobic beyond a point! Oh God – what do I do? I asked myself. I didn't know how to deal with people like this, but there was no way in hell I was letting Dee go through the trauma alone.

Looking around, I could see nothing that would help calm her down and decided that only if push came to shove would I do something drastic like breaking the glass of a window. I wondered where Viren had gone – and in that moment, hated him with everything in my gut for being the root of all my misery. Focus on Deeksha – she is hyperventilating! I scolded myself. I took a deep breath and decided to deal with all the problems, one at a time. Hopefully, by the time Dee felt better, the others would be here too.

"Dee!" I said, surprised at how even my voice sounded to myself. I'm sure she heard me, but didn't respond. "Dee!" I said again, but tried to maintain my tone. Slowly, she looked up and said, "De..ev" but it sounded more like a question.

"Hey... listen to me.. It's gonna be okay.. You're gonna be fine", I say and she nods. If I were her, I wouldn't be convinced. Somewhere at the back of my head, a voice said Distract her. Gulping a lump in my throat, I get onto my knees on the ground outside her door to be at eye-level with her.

"Dee... Hey.. Talk to me?" I asked. "Hmmm" was all she said.

"Okay – so.. Just for the record, um.. That was really unfair – back at the parking lot", I started. She didn't say anything – but she was looking at me. Not one to be deterred by her lack of response, I continued.

"You know? You tricking me into saying things I would have taken longer to say?" I say, with a soft chuckle. Dee's lips tugged upwards too, even if slightly, but she was looking straight ahead. "But – umm.. Oh gods – this is not how any of this is supposed to be!" I said, feeling embarrassed.

"But it is, how it is" she says – and I barely hear her through the sealed car. This was something I had said to her on the first day of her work with my company. I felt some joy spreading like warmth from inside me, that she remembered. For all the times I had wondered what caused people to blush – I knew that if I could, I would be blushing just then. "So...? Not gonna tell me?" she asked.

"Okay – here goes nothing", I say and square my shoulders.