Unfazed

63. Clear? Crystal (Harsh)

(THIS IS A VERY HAPPY IMAGE FOR AN OTHERWISE SOMBER CHAPTER. But I think they're cute lol - whatevs. Any Halana shippers in the house?) 

I didn't focus on where I was going. My head was a strangle tangle of absolutely all-connected wool that seemed to get more tangled with every passing second. I don't know whom to trust at this point. I had originally headed aimlessly out of my seat to prevent causing a scene – and though I had heard Alana call out to me a couple of times.

When I stopped in my tracks, I realized I was alone. I wasn't entirely ready to go and speak to Dev yet – so I opted to go to my car. A drive would help clear my head?

I was still trying to work my way around everything that had happened since the day of the family picnic when I made it to the nearly empty parking lot of the café. I was just about to open the door of my car when a voice startled me out of my skin.

"You really need to drop the tough guy act, you know?" it said.

I threw out some very loud expletives and clutched my chest looking at my "friend" who stood with a nearly irritated look on her face. "Holy Cow, Al!" I spat, trying to recover from the shock she just treated me with.

"What? Did I startle you, big guy?" she asked, unabashedly smiling.

"Very funny, Al!" I said. I wanted to be angry but I was too confused and overwhelmed by the flow of my emotions from anger to hatred to lack of trust to.. shock.

I leaned against my car, facing away from her. Of course, she decided to join me by walking over to lean on the car next to me.

"So – let me guess. There's a long, intense story about how and why you turned out this crazily reserved, super-batman-ish rich guy", she said – and wait, being Batman is a good thing right?

"Batman-ish?" I ask – making it sound like I'm sarcastic, when I genuinely wanted to know.

"You know – I'm a little confused", she said after a pause – during which she deliberated on how to frame it, I'm sure. I cringed internally at all the long conversations we had had on the phone, ever since we started talking, owing to which I knew this little detail.

"You're telling me?!" I asked. Confusion was just the beginning, for me at this point.

"Yeah man – think about it. From my perspective – on one side, I have this super nice friend of mine who talks to me about anything and everything under the sun. The one who not only vibes with me and tells me my taste in music SUCKS; but also the one who reads the books I recommend to him.

And on the other, there is this", she looks at me pointedly, "donkey, who only seems to know how to get angry with people and constantly jumps to conclusions."

"Hey – that's so not fair", I retort.

"Really? Are you sure?" she asks, "Because when you stormed out of there without so much as talking to Dev, it didn't look like you were jumping to conclusions.. at all!"

Okay – the sarcasm bit into me. I gave a sigh of defeat and say to her, "Some of my friends are of the kind who might say you have a point."

"Awww – they're called your brain and your heart, aren't they? Your friends, I mean" she replies, pleased to have gotten through to me.

I look away into the distance and I don't want to give her an answer – but the smile tugging at my lips gives me away. Alana lets out a laugh and says, "Am I to believe I just managed to get the ever-so-intense Harsh Bhalla to SMILE?"

"Excuse me? I smile as much as needed", I snap at her playfully to which, she replies, "Love – your definition and the average person's definitions of "How much to Smile" are very different".

I chuckle at that and we stay quiet for an immeasurable period of time but something keeps tugging at my heart. This was Ally – the person I called the night Dev and I made up and we explained to Dee what happened.

The person I could trust to say things like this and give me mini-heart attacks when my head wasn't working right.

The silence was comfortable and I didn't have the heart to break it. But if I was choosing to trust Alana the way I had promised her that I would, I had to come clean.

"Ally, we should head back inside", I say to her quietly, while she throws me a quizzical look. "There are a few things I need to clear out with you in front of Dee and Dev", I explain before pushing myself off the car. Walking back into the restaurant, I had a strange feeling that the conversation that loomed ahead could make or break a lot of things for me – with Dev, with Al – maybe even Dee.