Insomniac's Dream

Chapter 20

Lets get it done.

.  .   .

The calm serenity surrounding us is not something that is reflected inside me.

This lake has always told me something that usually took me days to acknowledge. Just like any other day, today its telling me just because it is reflecting the sky above, that doesn't means that it has no story of its own to share.

Just because it is reflecting a calm sky it doesn not implies that the lake, itself is calm.

It is rippling in its own boundaries. Showing calm on the outside but is rippling, stirring on inside.

I know that the calm look on the person beside me is not something which he has on inside, too. He definitely has a lot of questions for me and I know that, after sitting here with me, a total psycho, he deserves to get answers. And I will give him those.

I know its not like me but I am afraid.

Afraid that if I didn't explain myself, I will lose something which I have got on my hand for very short time. Something, someone who has somehow made me as open to him as open I am to Phantom, if not completely, then a little less only. If Phantom gets to know the truth, then so will Al.

If even after knowing my fucked up past with Taylor, Phantom is still willing to keep me then maybe . . .  maybe Al will too? There is a small voice inside my head telling that it won't end up good. But I don't care where I end up with this boy, all that matters, is the the time I have with him on my hand right now.

I just want him to stay for a while so that I can have something, that I can cherish forever.

It is no secret that I have feelings for him and I am not ready to let go of them.

And I will try my best to get these moments. Even if he leaves my side for good, after looking at my demons, I can't blame him. I won't. I will be grateful for him to stand beside me for this long.

Ask away Al, I will answer. I prompt him inside my mind.

"What happened at school?" He heard me.

Sighing I lean back more comfortably, settling for a long time.

"Listen to me first and save all the accusations, curses or whatsoever till end. Kay?" I point out at him with my finger.

"You start talking, we will see the rest. Be happy I am not shoving you into ER after seeing that."

Sighing I start. 

"Taylor, he i-"

"What had he said to you? I saw you talking to him but you ran after that, I tried to talk to that asshole but he said it was between you two. So I left him looking around for you and then I found you in the lot. You were so . . . I don't know. What did he say to you?" Confusion clear as crystal on his face.

Again his words hit home. Not just close, but right on the hit.

"He said it was mistake." I whisper, I still can't think about the casual expression he held on his face. 

"What was a mistake?"

"Him trying to kiss me when he already has his girlfriend Stacy." I look at him dead in the eyes.

His eyes open wide and his mouth open in disbelief.

"Are both . . . umh . . . of you a . . . thing?" He is uncomfortable talking about this, I can tell.

I laugh, at myself.

"No God . . . we aren't and will never be." I whisper the last part, my laugh long forgotten.

"You wanted to be with him." He states. I look at him, a soft sympathetic smile on his face, but his hands are twitching.