Insomniac's Dream

Chapter 28

I have boarded the bus. There is an old man on my left and the driver is listening to some eighties R&B pop, the music so loud, is leaking out of his ear buds.

I see her, I see the man hauling her into an alley.

She is young and can't help herself, younger than even me perhaps. I turn my head to ask someone for calling the police but no one is here. The driver has vanished the old man is gone too. I dash out of the bus towards the alley. I hear her screams, asking for some help. She cannot be older than thirteen or fourteen.

I run my hardest, but the distance keeps extending. I am running, my calves are burning, but I just can't cross the street. Closing my eyes, I scream and push once again, finally I cross the distance. However, when I try to enter the alley, I am thrown back. There is a wall, I think, but when I see there is nothing but thin air. Somehow, the thin air has thrown me down. I slam my body continuously into thin air but I can't enter. Her screams are so loud. I wonder how no one can hear her. It is like nails on chalkboard. I continually pound on the wall with my fists but my fists are bleeding.

I look at her. The man is tearing her clothes off. He has ripped her dress down its front the buttons falling around them. She is bare. Somehow, her screams become louder. She is calling for someone but I can't make out. The man punches her at jaw to shut her. She still screams. He is now groping her roughly. His hands now on between her legs. He unbuckles his pants. His buckle's voice so loud it echoes on the street. Even over the screams, I could hear it.

I am shouting, but no voice comes out. I am mute. No one can hear me. I myself can't seem to hear myself. I scream so hard that my throat runs dry and I choke on my own spit. I pound my fists, my legs. Nothing breaks the wall. My hands are now bleeding profusely. The blood runs along my forearms. I look at it but I pound again, fearing for her.

Blood now runs along her legs, her lips. Her hands are scathed from being hit into the brick wall repeatedly.

He throws her on the ground and covers her body, I am screeching. I know I have never shouted this much. I feel myself going numb in hands with the pounding. I call on for every god I have heard of,r to stop this abuse.

I want to close my eyes, to shut this off. My eyes can't leave them, I am stuck there. Seeing someone's life ruining and not be able to help them. I feel myself shaking. I feel like ripping my hair out.

I see it happening. Him raping her.

I feel like throwing the bile so strong in my throat that I feel like dying. I throw on my own feet. The bile all out.

The girls screams are like knifes in my skin. Piercing me, bleeding me out. I can't do anything to help her. She hasn't cried. She is still fighting, trying to get her off. But she just . . . can't.

Everything happens in front of me. Every scream, every punch, every grunt, her every kick, it happens and I did not do anything.

Suddenly the man gets up, spits at her, and is now walking towards me. I stop my movements. I am paralyzed. I am now in fear. I am shaking from inside but completely still outside. I just wish he would just leave me.

Just when he is breath away from me, he cuts right. He is speaking poison. Vile words are just spouting off his mouth for her. I hear the words and they are ringing more in my ears than her screams. I remove my eyes from the man and look at her. She is now on her stomach, whimpering breaking down. I see her eye an old beer bottle. She drags herself next to the dumpster and sitting up against it, she breaks the bottle.

I scream at her. Louder than I ever have. Just asking her to stop but I don't think she is able to hear me. Even if she is, she is ignoring it. She places the shard at her throat and whimpering, I see the first tear slip down her cheeks. She is staring right at me. There is accusation, hurt and most prominent pain. Pain that I had never seen, never felt.

She slashes her throat just as the wall vanishes and I am thrown on the bare concrete. I scramble up on my feet rushing to her. I run towards her, I see her body buckling up and down. I feel a small sense of hope when I feel my legs moving, I run down to her.

But when I reach her, the sight that meet me eye, freezes my blood, halts my steps, hits me in the chest like a physical force and elicits an ear-piercing scream out of me. This time I am not mute, I am screaming at top of my lungs.

"NO!"

Someone is shaking me up, someone is pulling me up.

"Rose!" Grandma is shouting at me. I open my eyes and shoot up, throwing Grandma onto the floor. I gasp for air but I clutch my throat strongly when I fell the sharp shoot of pain.

I look at Grandma, tears stream down her eyes. She is shaking not moving from her position on the floor.

I get out of the bed and look at myself in yesterday's clothes. I realize that I was sleeping, that it all had been a dream.

It was a fucking nightmare.

I open my mouth to speak, but choke. I am coughing badly, vigorously; every breath is a pain in my throat. A glass of water comes to my vision and I drink it complete.

I look up at Grandma; she is still crying not saying anything. Silent tears flow down her face.

I open my mouth to say something but I fall short and muttering sorry, I dash out. Nearly stumbling on my feet, I make it outside.

I hear her shouting for me but I don't stop. I just run. I run until I reach my safe place. I drop down on the grass and leaning back on tree. I hug my knees to the chest. I close my eyes again. And there is the sight from nightmare again.

It was the 13 year old me on the concrete.

Still.

Unmoving.

Dead.

. . .

Not a happy comeback chapter, but here I am.