Insomniac's Dream

Chapter 23

Songbook is up People!

. . .

Since it is in its highest oxidation state, xenon hexafluoride can not undergo oxidation, hence no redox reaction takes place in its hydrolyzation.

With this I finish the last set of questions, I needed to finish for p-block. I sigh and stretching across my bed I decided to overview the work I did today.

P-Block paper? Check.

English paper? Check.

Pyschology assignment? Still needs some work.

Ufff . . . enough for now. I have done much work and I need some break. Hell, I deserve a break. I groan and twist my neck to check my bedside clock and see that it is just three in the morning.

What to do now huh? Sighing, I go over my window and peel the drapes back followed by removing the black covers. One of the many consequences of not sleeping at night is that you have to cover your windows.

People get different things worked up if they see a girl's lights on all night and lying in the bed staring at things all night in dark is just not my thing.

I look outside to find a clear sky. I live in a area that is not surrounded by factories or smoke puffing stores. So a clear sky is a luxury that we can afford when the sky is devoid of clouds. This sky is just to good to be left alone.

I pick up my laptop and my Beats and head for the terrace. On the way up, I get myself a blanket and a mug of my favorite coffee which is made from home grind coffee beans. That is the perk of having personal relations in a bakery. Thinking of getting some milk too, I end up making a cappacino with chocolate powder on top.

Its not my usual style of coffee but something stopped me from getting all black today.

I get up to the top and lay the blanket down. Sitting down and settling my things , I lean back on my elbows to see the stars. The wind is there, but not something I can't handle.

Stars.

They are something which fascinate me enough, to keep me hold down for so long.

I am serious. Sometimes I get excited over things. I love doing them or having them for a few days but then I am back to normal, like the way you say 'meh'.

Be it my crush on Shawn Mendes, my first teddy, some new book coming in market, a recipe, milkshakes. . .  These things had my attention on them for very long time but now I feel like I could have survived without having these.

I guess that Taylor has made to the list too.  A long crush, which was now non existent.

If I had loved him, then his words would have made me angry, but all they did was hurt me. They did hurt because he was my friend and hearing it like that from his mouth did hurt. Thinking about absence of him in my life isn't even a step closer to what I feel for Phantom, when I fear him leaving me not even a mile's radius.

The thing is that what the both boys said today, Al and Phantom, made me realise that I would never do such things for Taylor, maybe I could have done for him way back then but now? No.

I think what Al tried to make me understand, was that my feelings should have remained same for Taylor even after years, if I had loved him.

And they didn't. The only thing I felt for him was hurt because after that day I hadn't just lost my crush but a friend too. My best friend.

It seems now foolish for putting a crack in our friendship because of a childhood crush.

After hearing him today, I think I can forgive him. Forgiveness is easy it is the forgetting that kills me.