---- [W -> D] ----
W: One time in math class my teacher was really pissed at us and he was yelling "DO YOU EVEN KNOW BASIC MATH? DO YOU KNOW ADDITION? WHATS TWO PLUS TWO? CORY, WHATS TWO PLUS TWO?" And poor Cory wasn't paying attention so I leaned over and whispered "seven" and he blurted out "SEVEN" and I've never laughed so hard in my life
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D: Wally, Conner is strong, right?
W: Well duh
D: In that case, how far do you think he could yeet me?
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W: A few days ago Hartley told me that when he played shooter games he would respond to dudes getting angry, aggressive, and hostile by saying "a kissaroo from me to you" in a slightly goofy friendly voice. He said they would absolutely lose their shit every time, insisting things like "I don't want a kissaroo from you! Only tall blonde girls!" They always said kissaroo. I can't stop thinking about this.
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D: Aren't you sugar and spice and everything nice?
W: Well aren't you rudeness, and sarcasm and everything... Oh
D: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense and I'll leave right now
W: ...
R: Well aren't you rudeness, sarcasm, and lacking enthusiasm
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W: i'm nto as thnik as yuo drukn i am
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D: Don't say a word
W: Fergalicious
D: I said no words!
W: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago when we were playing Scrabble it's not a word, now suddenly it's a word because its convenient for you
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W: How do I kill myself without dying?
D: Join a fandom
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D: Okay guys, there's a truck coming
D: Everyone take a step back
D: Except you Wally, you can take a step forwards
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W: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
YOU ARE READING
Text Me Back // Book One
Fanfiction(W- Wally West. D- Dick Grayson. R- Roy Harper.) D: Want to know how I remember how to spell 'Assume'? W: Okay..... D: Don't assume or you'll make an ass out of u and me ---- W: I am entirely convinced your last words will either be 'whoops' or 'sh...
