when it all began | l.s.

Apologies

Harry's POV

What am I doing? Why am I holding his hand? I'm sure if I just walked to my room he'd follow me.

My thoughts were running wild inside my head as we walked briskly down the hall towards my room. I was holding his small hand in mine as he trailed along slightly behind me. I had grabbed his hand due to old habits, but once I did I didn't want to let go and make it more awkward.

It felt like it took hours to reach the room, as I was quite uncomfortable and I could tell he was too. I slid the key into the slot and pushed open the door. I walked in ahead of him and pulled him along after me. The door swung closed and I stopped in the middle of the room, finally dropping his hand.

He stood and examined the large, luxurious space, his eyes wide. I didn't quite understand his amazement, as he'd obviously stayed in rooms as good if not better than this one.

As he looked around his eyes fell on mine, and my breath stopped. His icy blue eyes had been nothing but a memory for so long, and now they were real. They were right in front of me, and it caught me off guard. He bit his lip nervously and shuffled his feet on the carpet.

I took a step closer to him and he almost looked . . . scared? His eyes widened as I got even closer and it genuinely seemed like he wanted to back away but couldn't bring himself to do it. He looked up at me, breathing heavily, and I placed my hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry, Lou, please believe me," I began. He remained silent and still. "I'm sorry for everything that happened between us after that night at the party. It was all my fault. You told me yourself not to do anything stupid and that's exactly what I did. And then I did it again after the show. God, Louis I just missed you so much, and I couldn't control myself."

Louis looked up at me with so much sadness in his eyes it felt like a punch to the stomach.

"I want you to know that if I could go back in time and do things differently I would. I'd drink less at that party, and I wouldn't let management boss us around, and I wouldn't not call you. I should've stayed in touch. Hell, I never should've left your side. Not for one second. I'm so so sorry, Louis, really."

And still he said nothing.

"I completely understand if you've moved on. I'm sure you have by now. I just hope we can still be fr-"

And then he kissed me.

He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me gently, standing on his tip-toes just to close the gap. I kissed him back, my heart burning within my chest as I rested my hands on his hips. It was a soft and sweet kiss, and it didn't need to be anything more. It was everything I'd been needing ever since that night in his dressing room. It only lasted a few seconds before he pulled away, his hands dropping to his sides. I let go of him and moved back slightly.

"Harry, of course I haven't moved on. Not a day went by when I didn't think about you at least a little."

I smiled the most sincere smile and he mirrored it. "Uh, it's late. Do you wanna stay?" I asked. He suddenly frowned, looking concerned.

"No, no, I just mean, like, do you wanna sleep here? It'd just be easier than you going all the way back to your hotel. I promise I won't try anything," I reassured him, and he agreed.

I showed him to the bedroom and he began removing his clothes. I offered him sweats but he said he was fine in his boxers. Silently, tentatively, I watched as he took off his jeans and t-shirt, revealing the image that was engraved in my mind. His tattoos and soft skin were so beautiful, and it wasn't until he cleared his throat, raising his eyebrows that I realized I was staring.

"Oh, uh, sorry," I said, embarrassed. God I felt like a teenager again. He smirked and climbed into bed.

"Your turn, then?" he said, clasping his hands together in his lap. I tried to hide the smile creeping onto my face as I carefully removed my clothes, all the while feeling his piercing gaze on my body.

"Damn, Styles," he exclaimed and I giggled like a child. I quickly tucked myself under the covers, making sure to stick to my side of the bed, but Louis didn't have the same idea. He slid over to me and laid his arm across my chest without a word. He traced over my skin with his fingers and I stared straight up at the ceiling, trying to remain calm. I'd been longing for this feeling and this situation for so long, part of me hoped it would last forever.

We lay there in the dark until I noticed his breathing change, and knew he was asleep. My little Louis safe and sound right next to me, for the first time in years.

My little Louis.