Fifty Shades Of Sophia

Chapter Thirty Nine - "It Was Planned."

Chapter Thirty Nine

"It Was Planned."

             “Justin, can you please talk to me?”

            Opening up the door to the bedroom, I watched him completely run around as he ferociously threw random pieces of clothing into the suitcase. I couldn’t feel more broken as I witnessed my husband on such a rampage. I just wish he would tell me how he felt instead of keeping his feelings bottled up inside of him. If he let me know how he felt, I think he’d feel a lot better.

            I stood there in the doorway as he tossed things to the side of him but decided to grab onto his fists once he chucked the suitcase to the other side of the room.

            “Hey!” I shrieked, trying anything possible to get him to look at me. “Justin let’s just talk about this before we freak out, alright?”
            “There’s nothing to talk about.” He spat back at me. “We just need to pack.”
            Honestly, I was so tired of him not telling me how he felt. You’d think that the longer we dated the more he’d be apt to confide in me but that wasn’t the case at all. Instead I just felt like his feelings got more and more secretive because he didn’t want to make me upset. For the first time in this relationship I was going to stand up for myself.

            “Stop.” The tone of my voice was more than serious, causing him to stop his rampage and finally turn to look at me. “You can’t just go on a rampage and have a temper tantrum when you haven’t told me how you feel. We’re married now Justin and marriage means opening yourself up to one another. I know that this is a bullshit situation and I know you’re pissed off, but you can’t close me out when things get bad. That’s how marriages end.”

            Holding my breath once the words left my mouth, I just watched him collapse onto the floor and start to cry. I don’t mean sniffles; I mean loud and hard sobs. He sobbed until he started to not be able to breathe, making me sink to my knees beside him and hold him in my arms. I hated that he had to get to this point but it’s healthy to cry and this man needed it. He needed to cry and let his emotions out to someone who cared about him.

            “You’re okay.” I soothed. “It’s going to be okay Justin.”

            He buried his face into my bathrobe and continued to let the sobs escape his mouth until they were coming out as more of a dry heave. I didn’t think he could cry anymore until once again, more tears fell onto his cheeks and then fell onto the bareness of his chest. It was completely heartbreaking to see him like this.

            “I-I h-hate my life.” He stuttered. “I fucked up and I made everyone in this world hate me. They can’t stand me baby, they can’t stand me. No matter what good I do or how much money I give, it’ll never be enough. In their eyes I’ll always be the good for nothing teenager. I don’t tell you how I feel because like you said that one night back in the car, what’s the point? There’s nothing I can do to change it so there’s no point in complaining about it. But my house? Our house? We were supposed to raise Isabelle there. W-we were supposed-“

            Breaking down once more, he sobbed into my chest and all I could do was just hold him close to me and try to let him know that everything would be okay. I don’t know how I can help him or how I can try to make things better except be there.

            “But baby please don’t be mad at me. I can’t have you be mad at me right now I just can’t.”

            “I’m not.” I replied, the tears falling onto my cheeks as well. “ Justin I’m not mad at you. This is exactly what you needed. You needed to let it all out and just get frustrated. You’re allowed to be sad baby, everyone is. But just know that no matter how much society may not like you, I will always love you. Like I said before, it doesn’t matter where we are, just as long as I have you with me right by my side I am the happiest I ever will be. For better or for worse, right?”
            Silently nodding his head, his breathing started to slow down and he finally let out a sigh of relief once he was finished crying and rested his head on my shoulder.