t w e n t y o n e ~ Screw The Rules

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The text comes buzzing through in my back pocket. Even though I know I will regret it I lower my bowl of Coco Puffs to the counter and pull out my phone. It's an unknown number which really only screws me over.

Hey, you're the tutor for finals right? I sigh and type out my response.

Depends on what class you're looking for.

Chemistry. Well fuck me. How old is this kid?

Yep, you've got the right number. What do you need?

Some smart pills. I'm currently failing. This kid has to be googling the street names.

I'll meet you outside The Coffee House on the corner of Cedar and Washington in thirty. I know Cedar and Washington connect in an alley but I'm already doubting whether or not this kid will figure it out. Still I finish off my Coco Puffs and wash the bowl. I replace the now clean dishes in the cabinet and grab my jacket off the counter. Then I head down the hall to my room and pull out the shoeboxes. I count out a few pills and I hurry down the stairs.

Slipping out the back door, I look to my left and find Bash leaning against the wall with a cigarette between his fingers. I push my hair back and hesitate in my steps. 

"Want a cig?" No. My eyes flick to the dumpsters and my escape route behind them. It takes ten minutes tops to get to "The Coffee House" and I want to take my bike. I tug my eyes away from the dumpster and towards Bash.

"Yeah," I answer. I shrug, he pulls out his pack and flips the top open, and I watch as my own fingers reach in and grab one. And then I pull my lighter out of my pocket and light up. It's been two days short of a week since I threw my pack out. So much for quitting. I take a long drag and settle against the brick beside Bash. Neither of us say anything. Bash finishes his cigarette before me and drops it to the ground. The embers die beneath his shoe. He heads back inside still wrapped in silence. I hold my cigarette out on front of me for thirty seconds before I too drop it and walk away.

I slide behind the dumpsters and pull out my bike and helmet. Then I leave the apartment complex and weave my way down the streets. I drive past the alley and park a few blocks down, in the same parking lot I always use for this kind of thing. Then I make my way back to the alley and lean against the brick. It's barely a minute before a young kid walks in, looking around wildly. He stops in front of me. I don't move.

"Are you the chemistry tutor?" he asks. Dang he's got to be a freshman. I roll my eyes.

"I've got your drugs kid. You got the cash?"

"Uh... yeah. Here." He digs a wad of cash out of his pocket and holds it out to me. I count the bills and don't bother telling him he over paid. I hand him his small bag of pills, and he walks out with his hands still shaking.

I drag a hand down my face and make my way back to my bike. I pull the helmet back out of the seat, swing a leg over, and jam the key in. I hesitate for a minute then fire up the ignition and leave the lot. And then I'm just moving. I could use a drink. Or something to get high on. But the second the bar comes into view I shake my head and turn the bike around. Don't screw up. Not tonight. I just want to drive. I want to drive and forget.

There are a few cars out, but their numbers are limited. I find myself maneuvering around them until they disappear and the stars come out. And then I keep going. Eventually I make my way to a gas station and fill up my tank with the cash in my pocket. And then I'm off again. For no particular reason. I don't realize I cross over to the other side of town until I pull up next to Kayla's house. I stare at the side of it for awhile and let my eyes wander over to the porch light that hasn't been left on like every other house on the street. I cruise slowly along the asphalt. Beneath me, the bike stops as her window comes into view. Don't be an idiot. I gun the bike and shoot down the street not caring if I wake up the neighborhood.

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