Loyalty (JoshxBrendonxTyler)

16. Vulnerability

The retirement home has a small, local, folk band that comes in today. It's aging men with a couple guitars and soothing voices.

Brendon sits in between Carina and her mother on one of the many couches in the rotunda-like area. His best friend's arm is around his waist, head on her shoulder and eyes in a soft close as he listens to the music and nothing but the music.

It's nice.

When he first came in all Carina wanted to know was how the dinner went, she grinned so wide and would not stop pestering him.

Brendon told her he'll tell her soon, the music already started and he needed to get his mom downstairs because he knew for a fact she'd want to come see the performance. He wasn't complaining, he wanted to see it too.

The topic has been dismissed, for now.

Carina will ask again later; he's excited to tell her everything.

It's nice having a friend. It's nice having Carina.

***

Brendon tends to every need except his own.

By the time lunch came around Grace didn't want to eat with everyone, she said today she would eat inside. It's fine, he understands. He tells his mother he'll go get whatever they're serving and bring it up to her but that's not what she wants.

She wants tacos.

They aren't serving tacos, they never do.

Brendon misses lunch and drives to Jack in the Box, getting tacos with only cheese and lettuce because she wanted nothing more and nothing less. He had grown to know her like the back of his hand, he wished all his other siblings did as well.

He sometimes feels wrong for thinking that way.

They have other necessities; some with partners, some with kids, some with a life.

Brendon's lost that, but at the same time he's not sure if he ever has had one.

All he knew is that coming to a place where the walls and floor were built of prestige and sorrow every weekend was creating someone who would never grow to be anyone.

Brendon isn't someone. He's nothing.

The closer he gets to Tyler and Josh the more he wants to spend time with them, and he can't. Weekdays were busy for them all. Brendon goes through so much shit at work and then he has no choice but to come to the retirement home and watch people limp their way through their last few days.

That's not where he wants to be.

He wants to be able to sleep in his own home on Fridays, and instead of waking up and heading to matrydom, he heads to nirvana.

Tyler and Josh are the potential of being nirvana.

If things go well, they will be.

Brendon's being prohibited, though.

Being in the retirement home the whole weekend holds him back from pursuing anything, especially their relationship.