Loyalty (JoshxBrendonxTyler)

42. Body

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

- Nausea/throw up
- Descriptions of Brendon's body
- Anxiety/crying over food

Nausea/throw up trigger warning starts right now. I will mark when it is over. Be safe. I always, always want each and every one of you to be safe.

***

When Brendon wakes up in the morning, he wishes he didn't. Immediately, as soon as his eyes blink open once and twice, reality becomes far too overwhelming. Not because of what happened the night before but because of what's happening now.

It's horrible.

Before even considering it either, he's curling into the closest thing he can to a ball, groaning loudly. Unpleasantly. In pain. He fell asleep holding Josh but now Josh is holding him. His arms are so heavy around him that Brendon has a hard time doing something as simple moving. He tries, though. He tries and tries and tries, stirring in his grasp, and that's what leads Josh to wake up.

Brendon only groans again when he sees.

Josh blinks a few times, running a hand over his face. "What's wrong?" He mumbles out.

Brendon shakes his head, tears welling in his eyes. He won't let them fall. "I don't feel good." He whispers.

Josh blinks a few more times to gauge the situation. Brendon's face is tucked into his chest, arms completely around himself, and his voice even trembles while he speaks. "In which way?" He asks gently, running his fingers through his hair.

"My stomach." Brendon gets out. He shakes his head again. "I don't feel good." He repeats.

Josh's heart rate increases. He notices easily. "Do you feel nauseous?"

Brendon nods. Over and over again. His head aches just like his heart. His stomach churns just like his conciousness.

"Let's get you to the bathroom," Josh decides. Brendon nods another time while Josh unwraps his arms from around him and gets off of the bed. He runs a hand down Brendon's side to try and soothe him as well, which only makes the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach worse, but he says nothing. Opposed to doing that, he carefully lifts his head to look at Tyler. They're sound asleep. As far to the edge as possible, still.

It was like they didn't want to touch either of them last night.

They took their sweater off, got under the covers, and moved as far away as they could. Josh didn't try to reach out for them, and neither did Brendon. It's as though they both knew they would be turned down.

"Bren," Josh mumbles, sticking his hand out.

Brendon swallows thickly, shaking himself out of his thoughts. Slowly, he accepts the offer and allows Josh to help him up, which, fuck, makes everything so much worse.

Before he even has time to blink, he's falling onto his shoulder, whimpering.

"Hey, hey," Josh gulps, hand moving up, hand moving down on his back.

Brendon pulls back a little. So dizzy, so overwhelmed. He can't think of anything else. It's coming up. It's actually coming up.

Maybe his face shows it, because he watches as Josh's eyes widen the longer they stand there, panic as clear as day. "Do you need to throw up?" He rushes out.

Brendon doesn't give a single moment to think about it. He nods frantically, slapping a hand over his mouth, and without another second to pass, he's moving into the bathroom. It all happens so fast. He pushes the door open, flicks the light on, and makes sure to lift up the toilet seat as he falls to his knees.