Loyalty (JoshxBrendonxTyler)

45. Temptation

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

- Body image.
- Sexual content.
- Mentions of past misgendering.

I wanted to thank you all for your endless amount of love and support. Loyalty has officially reached 100k reads, and every time I see it, a big smile grows on my face. I'm so grateful for each and every one of you. The community we have built within this is beautiful and I hope it continues to stay that way.

**Body image trigger warning starts now.**

***

Brendon stares at himself in the mirror, body awake, mind asleep. His eyes are only looking at one thing, and one thing only. It's absurd. It's unbelievable. He can't bring his attention to anything else because of the overwhelming amount of thoughts circulating his head.

"How the fuck do I cover this up," he gets out.

Tyler chuckles, leaning forward to kiss his hickey. "You can wear one of my turtlenecks."

Brendon finally looks away then, focusing on them instead. They aren't wearing a shirt and he's pretty sure they haven't been since he got in bed last night, but now he sees them, most of them, yet keeping those velvet pants on only leaves so much to consider.

"Could I?" Brendon wonders.

"Yeah, of course." Tyler murmurs. "I'll go get you one. Black?"

Brendon nods slowly, eyes widening slightly to himself.

As Tyler walks out, his heart races. All he is able to think about is how sure they sounded, no hesitation, no worry that he wouldn't fit into one of their tops. When he first met them and Josh, a time came where Brendon had to borrow a sweater, and he remembers vividly that Josh had given him his own because he didn't think Tyler's would fit him considering their smaller size.

With the certainty now, his worries grow stronger.

He can fit into Tyler's clothes. He can fit into Tyler's clothes.

He used to only be able to fit into Josh's.

Brendon feels himself shrink at that. It may not seem like such a big deal, but the difference between himself and Tyler is that they're naturally thin, and he is definitely not.

Tyler eats. Tyler doesn't have anxiety attacks over the thought of getting something down. Tyler can look in the mirror and easily say that they are healthy. Tyler cooks for themself, for everyone, and enjoys it. Tyler is comforted by food, Brendon despises it. Tyler can walk around the house with their shirt off an not have a single worry about doing so.

Being able to officially fit into their clothes is not a victory, it's a warning sign.

"Hey," Josh pipes up, leaning onto him, connecting their hands together. "You okay?"

Brendon swallows thickly. He can't help but say absolutely nothing, all he feels capable of doing is fall against his chest and carefully grab Josh's empty hand, bringing it around him. A hug. A protection.

**Trigger warning over.**

He can hear Josh's heart skip a beat, yet he doesn't ever question the situation, he just holds him tighter, kissing his forehead, rocking their bodies side-to-side.

"Do you remember what Tyler was telling you last night?" He asks gently.

Brendon shrugs. "Barely. I was super stoned." He whispers.