Loyalty (JoshxBrendonxTyler)

36. Alarming

Carina left Brendon's apartment when he did. She hugged him tight and reminded him that he's free to contact her at any time, especially if something goes wrong. Which, she followed up by saying won't happen.

He believes her.

It was very upsetting having to go from his safe place to a place where he lacks exactly that.

Truthfully, it feels like work continues to get more and more dreadful with each day passing, to the point where he starts to wonder what his life would be like if he didn't choose this career path. He always thought he would be an entrepreneur considering social interaction isn't his forté, and he assumed with an office job like this, there wouldn't be very much of that so it would be okay.

Fuck, was he wrong.

This is worse than anything else; feeling as though the entire building is against him at this point, with the exception of Ryan and Ryland.

The reason he didn't go off to do anything on his own is because he's absolutely terrible at time management. And he also has never had an outstanding passion or talent, so he wouldn't even know where to begin.

It's a fun thought, though.

For now, there's no living in that fatansy world because he sits down knowing this is his reality, and it always will be. A reality where he never feels secure wherever he walks in this building, a reality where he finds the most comfort knowing he's leaving to his apartment soon compared to going to lunch.

It's sad, really.

Luckily though, despite how little they actually see one another, Ryan and Ryland make the experience a little more bearable. They're nice, and they're fun to be around.

He needs more people like them in his life. People that make everything feel casual and not so stressful.

Because of this, Brendon has gained a lot of appreciation for them.

It would be better if he and Debby could forget their past together so he'd be able to hangout with them more often than he does, but he knows that's very unlikely to happen, sadly. He wants nothing more than for things to just be okay.

It's not that simple, yet, it never hurts to dream.

Or Brendon is desperate.

Either way, it helps get his mind off the uncertainty that lingers and makes it slightly more tolerable to sit here and work for these next few hours.

***

Brendon brought the macaroni and cheese he made the other night to eat for lunch today, and after pulling it out of the microwave and turning around once being heated, he happens to bump into Luke. Their shoulders hit one another harshly, so harshly that Brendon nearly trips because he loses his balance.

Carefully, and painfully, he looks at Luke in shame.

A sudden ounce of fear courses throughout his body, and just from Luke's stare alone, he feels like he might throw up.

Oh no, oh no.

It's not until he notices a sudden warmth on his stomach where he glances down at himself and realizes they bumped into each other so hard that some of his food fell onto his top.

Fuck.

He's frozen in shock, not sure whether to clean himself off or apologize.

He decides to choose the latter, eyes wide and face flushed. "Sorry," he rushes out, looking back and forth between Luke and his top.