Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

8.

[CATALINA'S P.O.V]

The light peeking through the window wakes me up, and doesn't really give me a choice but to get out of bed. I roll over with a groan only to realize that I have a lot more space in the bed than I did last night. That's because it's empty.

Before I get the chance to panic like I had certainly planned to, August walks out of the bathroom rubbing lotion on his freshly washed face. I don't even bother to hide my hideous morning face or even push my wild hair out of my face. All I can say is it took a lot more than a tooth brush and face towel to get me ready for the morning. However, all I had was yesterdays clothes and a scrunchie.

He doesn't even say good morning, so I don't either. I can't help but wonder if he would've if I weren't such a bitch to him during the car ride or if I got the oppourtuinity to apologize for it last night. Maybe his- whatever she is- calling was a sign.

After preparing myself for the ride back home, I go back into the room to find it empty. I do a double take in the mirror, making sure my clothes from yesterday look presentable and I push my wet hair out of my face. Hoping to find some peace of mind, I open the balcony door just to see August already beat me to my idea of a calm morning.

"Hello." I awkwardly speak, sitting in the chair beside him.

I could just do what I came out here to do. It's hard to clear your mind though, with the one thing clouding it is sitting beside you.

"Why is your hair dripping wet?" he questions.

"It isn't dripping wet, it's damp and because I took a shower."

"Jesus Christ-" he mumbles to himself and turns his head slightly in a gesture that was equivalent to rolling his eyes.

I won't allow it to bother me and doing so is easier than I thought it would've been.

"What were you saying last night?" He catches the falling silence.

"I was going to say thank you. I realized that you didn't owe me this, and I was  pretty rude in the car on several occasions." I shrug, the words come out easier than I thought.

Perhaps that's because I didn't think it was uncalled for. It was the proper thing to do and I meant it. However, saying sorry is what's hard for me. I couldn't tell you why..

"Is that all?" he furrows his eyebrows.

I raise a challenging eyebrow, it was almost hard to tell if he was being sarcastic and not paying attention to my half assed thank you or if he was egging on for more. However, I can tell when he was being a bitch to me (at least I can most times). Shockingly, he wasn't.

"What do you mean?" I ask for clarification just in case.

"I mean is that all you have to say fr yourself?"

Oh, he definitely wanted an apology out of me. I wanted to give him one too, but the words struggled to find their way out.

"I....." I trail off before I ever begin.

"I apologize?" It comes out as a question but really I'm asking if that was okay enough.

"You apologize?"

"Yes....that's all I can manage. I can't say sorry- I just- I don't know. Saying sorry is like putting the I in-front of 'love you', a whole new meaning." I explain.

August shakes his head and lets out what seems to be a sarcastic chuckle. Why is he becoming so hard to read all of a sudden? At one point I knew everything he did was of distaste, but ever since yesterday I can't tell if he's being mean or nice.