Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

74.

*ik I should be tired of making new books...but listen... here we go again^^*

AUGUST
I've always hated Valentine's Day— like always. Even when I was little, I hated having to give out nasty lollipops to the whole class. I thought this year I'd like it because Lily does, but I don't even have her to spend it with, making it ten times more hateable. However, I am a firm believer that I shouldn't be alone on Valentine's Day.

I sit up in the bed and lay my head against the headboard. The only thing that keeps me from weeping about the memory of when Lily used to lay beside me is having someone else to fill her spot. I know that's the least effective coping method anyone could use, but it's a solution to my problem for the meantime.

I wouldn't say that I've been wise in my choice of replacement women, but they all make quite good distractions— up until my mind blanks and I'm thinking about Lily, ruining the moment.

Melody sighs as she wraps her hair into a ponytail to get it off of her back. She's not the most likeable, but she's a stable choice. She's selfish like me, so she'll understand my selfish decisions, she won't get attached easily because she already knows how it ends, and we've done this before. Her only flaw is that she's malicious and she might tell Lily about this.

I almost feel bad for having someone else in our house, but I doubt that this place will be the home shared by Lily and I ever again. If we end up living together again, I'd be sure to take her as far away from here as possible.

"What if she pops up?"

"She won't.." I shrug and shake the possibility from my head. "But if she did, you'd have to hide. Normally you wouldn't, but she's you know..very important."

"Why do you like her anyways? She's skinny and nice. Nice people creep me out."

"I don't like her, I love her." I glare at her for insulting Lily.

"You always fall for the wrong people." Melody sighs. "and then you come crawling back to me."

"I don't come crawling back. I walk. and also, I don't fall for the wrong people."

"Catalina— your biggest mistake of all— will be example one—"

"You really don't have to." I interrupt her knowing what she's going to do.

"She was always a mistake. Even back in her sad girl orphan days. She has a horrible personality, she's not even funny, and plus she's really mean to you. Also, she fell in love with someone else and rubs it in your face. Although you deserve it."

"Maybe you're just jealous." I shrug.

"Of Catalina?" she laughs "what exactly do I have to be jealous of?"

"Well for one—"

"Don't say his name."

I laugh. I groan and roll out of the bed, sliding on my slippers and staring at the dresser. I look at Lily's Valentine's day gifts that she'll never want. I got her a nice pair of diamond earrings because I remember she said she always wanted some, but could never bring herself to actually pay for any. I got some other things too, but I don't wish I could return those like I do the earrings. I don't know why I've sat them up on display to torture myself.

"Let's see what they have to eat." I say to Melody, really I just don't want to be in this room with her.

She rolls her eyes and slides out of the bed, chuckling when she sees the weary look on my face as I stare at the gifts.

"Can you help me bring them downstairs?" I mumble.

"Aww, sure." She does a sinister chuckle as she grabs the decorative bag in her hand.