Insecure {AUGUST ALSINA}

22.

CATALINA

She looks me right in the eyes, but doesn't budge. She just blinks at me in confusion and to my surprise it breaks my heart. The fact that we're complete strangers is just dawning on me as my own mother cautiously takes her food out of my hand.

"I'm who?" She furrows her eyebrows, trying to be polite and smile.

I can't even speak I'm in so much shock. I never really thought much about meeting her. Ever since the time I've looked for her, I erased our bond out of my head. Then, Christian came along and made me feel like I'd never get a proper conversation with her.

This is probably just apart of his scheme, because this is impossible.

I have half a mind to just shrug it off and let her continue her day, but I can't. I don't only want this for me, I want this for everyone Christian is using her as leverage over.

My voice is staggered in my throat though. I can't speak and I can feel my stomach turn with nerves.

"I- um-" I stutter, but nothing that makes any sense comes out.

So, I just squeeze my name tag in my hand as I cautiously turn it over to let her read my name.

She takes a brief moment and squints her eyes to read it. It isn't long before her eyes widen and she stops to stare at me how I did her when she first walked in.

My heart thuds in my chest while I wait for her to say something so I don't have to. She's just silent and her green eyes fill with tears. The woman puts her hands over her chest as she tries to speak but ends up taking a breath.

"You're so beautiful." She mumbles more to herself than to me.

I feel my face grow hot and my eyes start to burn. I can feel myself get angrier in a matter of seconds, the bile in the back of my throat while I fight back tears.

"Am I really?" I can't help but to spit out defensively.

If she thought I was so beautiful, how could she just give me up like I was nothing?

I guess this is why I could never imagine this moment, because there's no way to predict how you're going to feel.

"Mom? What's taking them so long." Someone scoffs as they walk up to the counter.

My eyes widen looking at the girl whose Instagram I just scrolled by weeks ago. Catarina. I told myself not to worry because it was probably no big deal, but I still followed her.

I thought about her being my mother's child, but now that I know she is I can't help but feel angry and envious.

She's even more beautiful than she was through the screen; with her blonde curls brushed up into a neat ponytail and glossed lips.

"It's finished." My mother mumbles as she absent mindlessly hands the sandwich to the girl.

Catarina doesn't even pay much attention as she takes it out of her hand.

"This is uhm- this is my daughter Catarina." She introduces her to me instead of the other way around.

I can tell she doesn't know what to say because she's saying all the wrong things.

"Great. So you didn't even bother giving her an original name." I roll my eyes. This must be the jealously I feel kicking in.

I can't even manage to say all of the spiteful things I really want to because I feel like she's still my mother no matter how I look at it.

"Excuse me?" Catarina raises and eyebrow.

I hear footsteps and I turn my head to see August walking up to the counter. Probably for his usual meet up with Kaden. I try not to look directly at him, but I can't look directly at my mother either, so I have no choice but to look at the marble counter top.